Netflix diary: Aguirre, the Wrath of God
Aguirre: The Wrath of God
(MArk Aguirre: The Wrath of Laimbeer)
(Aguirre: Jim Zorn des Gottes)
(Aguirre: The Wrath of Some Insane Guy)
I just joined Netflix. It's terribly exciting, as all these movies I've wanted to see but never could find in a Blockbuster were there, waiting for me to put them in my queue. That's a funny word, queue. Kind of an overproper, Victorian way of saying "q". Anyway, one of these movies is Aguirre: The Wrath of God, by the "Master of German Expressionism", Werner Herzog. I had seen one other Herzog film (the one best known to Americans -- his 1979 remake of "Nosferatu") and found it to be interesting and weird. I like interesting and weird. So, I had high hopes for this movie. Was it interesting? Yes, I suppose. Was it weird? Slightly, but 95% of the weirdness had to do with either Klaus Kinski's eyes or a buttload of monkeys. Now, those 2 things are great, but they can't carry a movie all by themselves.
The film begins with a message telling us that Pizarro and his men had just conquered the Incas, who got their revenge by convincing him of the existence of a "Lost City of Gold" named El Dorado somwhere in the South American jungle. It then goes on to say that Pizarro went on an expedition to find El Dorado, and the only record we have of it is the diary of a monk, Brother Carvajal. The first shot of the actual film is a great one, a really great one. The expedition (containing not only soldiers but also slaves, noblemen, and a couple of chicks) is traveling through a treacherous winding path along a hill through the wilderness. The camera zoom in from above. Everybody looks pretty happy, even though a some have fallen of the path presumably to their deaths. Eventually, they set up camp and Pizarro has a conversation with the wild-eyed Aguirre, played by Kinski. Pizarro says they'll never find El Dorado, and Aguirre disagrees, all crazy-like. Seriously, there aren't words to describe the guy's screen presence. He chews scenery like a rabid rottweiler chews a steak.
(A trivial side note: according to the several sources, Kinski was a raving lunatic throughtout production, and threatened to quit midway through the film, because he in real life is actually borderline insane. However, Herzog is also kind of nuts, and he told Kinski that if Kinski walked off the set, he would shoot him and then turn the gun on himself. You might think it just a story, but Herzog has confirmed it went down pretty much like that (although Kinski said Herzog actually brandished a gun, a charge Herzog denies), and even says he was prepared to actually go through with it. I bring this up to underscore the fact that without Kinski, there's probably no movie. I mean, nobody short of Marty Feldman would have had eyes like that. And I don't think you want him playing this role. Herzog dealt with the insane Kinski in a Goethe-like "deal with the devil". Appropriate for the "Master of German Expressionism", no?)
This sets up the real meat of the movie, which sends 40 or so men and 2 women ahead of Pizarro's expedition as kind of a "scout team", to scope out what's ahead and come back within a week. One look at Aguirre and you know that' s not happening, though. Main players in the scout team:
Ursua, the leader (for the first day, anyway); his hot wife; Aguirre, his supposed second-in-command; Aguirre's poor young daughter who looks just like the girl from the remake of "Planet of the Apes" -- Estella Warren; Ursua's loyal man, Armando; Aguirre's creepy enabling friend, Perucho; A black slave with a Ben Wallace 'fro, who will be known as Ben Wallace for purposes of this recap; the aforementioned Brother Carbajal, who voice-over narrates much of the goings-on; and a bunch of other men we'll call "Indian Food".
The first day is them rafting down a treacherous river, surrounded by jungle, a growing sense of hopelessness in the air. One of the three rafts gets stuck in an "eddy", because they suck, and the other two land on the jungle shore and send some dudes to go over and save them. Herzog gives us multiple shots of the stuck raft, all from the prespective of the other rafts (far away), and the pathetic struggles of the Indian Food onboard. There's 2 South American slaves rowing, and 7 Spanish guys ordering them around. Night falls, and gunfire and explosions are heard over by the stuck raft. What will become of the Indian Food?
Now would be a good time to tell you about the pace of the film, which is extremely leisurely. It's truly an art film -- a modern audience would surely call it boring. I mentioned the shots of the soldiers on the stuck raft -- he keeps going back to them, staying on them. It's always the same shot, too. There's probably 5 minutes total of the people struggling on the raft. And many other shots are like that as well. Keep that in mind as I go through the narrative -- all of these things take a lot of time to happen. The good thing about this pace is it allows you to take in the whole scene, including the jungle around them. The sense of dread is heightened by this. It is in fact a horror movie in the "Blair Witch Project" vein, where the characters are doomed from the start by their own lunacy and the smothering nature around them.
Well, the saving party gets over there the next morning and finds 6 dead soldiers on the raft, with the 2 slave/rowers and one piece of Indian Food missing. This starts a disturbing trend in the movie, where people just literally escape from the film and we never hear from them again. The total number of ecapees at this point is three. Ursua decides the men need a Christian burial, but in his first act of defiance, Aguirre tells creepy Perucho to "make sure the cannon doesn't get rusty". Perucho (humming the whole time -- you later realize he hums when he's thinking of doing something malevolent.) blows up the raft with the men on it. Ursua doesn't punish anybody, and you realize it's only a matter of time before Aguirre takes over, forshadowing that other great and insane Aguirre, Mark, in the '89 NBA finals. But I digress.
The next night the tide rolls in and the other 2 rafts float away, and Ursua is all about going back to Pizarro on foot so they can make it back within a week. But the men are cutting down trees to make another raft, strangely without consulting him. They have a meeting, and Aguirre's treachery (as opposed to his insanity -- that comes later) is revealed. Aguirre wants to continue the scout team and find El Dorado, and Ursua wants to go back. Ursua is shot, out of the blue, by someone out of frame. Presumably, it's Aguirre or Perucho. Armando rushes Aguirre and is also shot. Aguirre gives a look like, "Does anybody else want some of this?", and nobody takes him up on it. Under Aguirre's direction, they elect as their new leader a fat nobleman we'll call the Load. The Load is understandably apprehensive, having just seen what happened to the last leader. But he accepts because he has no choice, and they build huge raft with like a house and an outhouse and a horseport on it, and set out down the river for El Dorado.
(Before they do, they have a trial with Carvajal as judge, and Ursua is sentenced to death for treason on trumped-up charges. The Load grants him clemency, which causes Aguirre (who suggested Ursua be killed in the first place) to do a double take at him, and we then know the Load is ultimately doomed. Other notable things that happen are: Perucho hums while looking up and down Ursua's hot wife, and Armando kills a guard and escapes (Death toll now 8 (including one of the saving party who is trapped by indians), escapees now total 4).)
And a word on the blood in this movie: fake. Looks like they mixed tomato soup with milk -- it's practically pink. Evertime someone bleeds, I think they just spilled lunch on themselves, or hurled. It's embarassing.
So the remaining scout party members set off on the houseraft, and it spirits are up. These people want to follow Aguirre and the Load because of promises of wealth. The float by some South Americans, and Aguirre asks the token South American translator (who earlier told Hot Wife "I used to be somebody...now I'm just a slave") what they are whooping and hollering at the raft. He says "Food floating by" or somesuch. Aguirre is not deterred, and gradually you learn that he plans on taking not only El Dorado but the whole continent for himself, and challenging things like, I don't know, Spain for world supremecy. It's a good plan, a solid plan. But the South Americans won't give up their continent that easy...
They drift to an abandoned village, and in the greatest moment of the movie, strip Ben Wallace down to his underwear and have him run ahead of the Spanish army to scare the South Americans. Hey, it worked for the Pistons. That would scare me, too. He's like trying to stay behind the guys with the guns, but they prod him on. War in the 16th century was so silly. So, they find the village is indeed abandoned, and also find remnants of cannabalism (dun-dun-dun!). So, the morale of the group is going down. Later, the Load is eating like the King he is and the others are doling out corn kernel-by-kernel to each other (a kernel for you...a kernel for you...), and the Load gets mad at the horse and orders the group to leave it on the riverbank, away from him. This causes Brother Carvajal to realize the craziness of the whole thing, as he says, "Dude, I've seen entire tribes of South Americans run from one horse. Plus, we could have at least eaten it!" Aguirre says (in his own mind) "that's it!" and the Load is found strangled. He died the way he lived -- overweight.
So, Aguirre does what he's wanted to do since the movie began and he has Ursua hung by an ever-humming Perucho. This causes hot wife to put on a fancy dress and walk into the jungle, never to be seen again. I don't know why she put on the fancy dress. For those of you keeping score, that's escape #5. Better than Mambo #5, but not by much.
As she leaves, one can feel the movie unraveling and devolving at a rapid rate. Aguirre starts referrng himself as "The Wrath of God", though it feels more like "The bad Seatlle Seahawks QB". In the second best bit in the movie, Aguirre walks up behind a dude counting to ten: 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...(Aguirre cuts his head off, it rolls downhill and ends up facing towards the sky, at which point the disembodied head says, and I quote)10. People start to get hit by arrows from unseen asailants. They run into a tree that takes the roof off the houseraft. Finally, Aguirre's poor daughter who looks like Estalla Warren gets hit by an arrow, and everyone starts to hallucinate. Ben Wallace gets hit by an arrow, and does the New Age trick of creating his own reality when he says, "That arrow isn't there...the raft isn't there". So does Carvajal. Aguirre feeds off all this crap, and goes into full delusion mode where he thinks he's going to marry his daughter and conquer South America and challenge Spain. And then the monkeys show up.
That's right, monkeys.
They're covering the boat, and Aguirre is trying in vain to chase them away while he goes on his insane rant. They're cute, but probably diseased. Not that it matters now. Everyone is dead or dying except Aguirre, and the raft drifts on. The final shot goes around and around the raft, showing the dead and dying on every corner,with Aguirre chasing monkeys. It's the best mass use of a random animal at the end of a movie I've seen since Magnolia. Cue the credits.
Gosh, what a bleak movie. The message seems to be, "If you're out in the jungle and you have to follow somebody, don't pick the dude with the craziest eyes." Good advice for those of you on safari, or who live in Butler, WI. Also, "Don't trust the people you just conquered because they probably don't like you very much." Good advice for those who are occupying a just-conquered county like say, Iraq for example. Also, "Don't make the fat guy King", "Don't abandon your only horses just because the fat guy says so", and finally, "If you're in South America, keep watch because armies of monkey can get all up on ya just like THAT."
3 out of 5 overpriced popcorns, for the weird eyes and monkeys, and the opening and closing shots. But not higher because it's kinda boring.
Monkey Monkey. Another funny word. Queue the monkeys.
--MDP
(MArk Aguirre: The Wrath of Laimbeer)
(Aguirre: Jim Zorn des Gottes)
(Aguirre: The Wrath of Some Insane Guy)
I just joined Netflix. It's terribly exciting, as all these movies I've wanted to see but never could find in a Blockbuster were there, waiting for me to put them in my queue. That's a funny word, queue. Kind of an overproper, Victorian way of saying "q". Anyway, one of these movies is Aguirre: The Wrath of God, by the "Master of German Expressionism", Werner Herzog. I had seen one other Herzog film (the one best known to Americans -- his 1979 remake of "Nosferatu") and found it to be interesting and weird. I like interesting and weird. So, I had high hopes for this movie. Was it interesting? Yes, I suppose. Was it weird? Slightly, but 95% of the weirdness had to do with either Klaus Kinski's eyes or a buttload of monkeys. Now, those 2 things are great, but they can't carry a movie all by themselves.
The film begins with a message telling us that Pizarro and his men had just conquered the Incas, who got their revenge by convincing him of the existence of a "Lost City of Gold" named El Dorado somwhere in the South American jungle. It then goes on to say that Pizarro went on an expedition to find El Dorado, and the only record we have of it is the diary of a monk, Brother Carvajal. The first shot of the actual film is a great one, a really great one. The expedition (containing not only soldiers but also slaves, noblemen, and a couple of chicks) is traveling through a treacherous winding path along a hill through the wilderness. The camera zoom in from above. Everybody looks pretty happy, even though a some have fallen of the path presumably to their deaths. Eventually, they set up camp and Pizarro has a conversation with the wild-eyed Aguirre, played by Kinski. Pizarro says they'll never find El Dorado, and Aguirre disagrees, all crazy-like. Seriously, there aren't words to describe the guy's screen presence. He chews scenery like a rabid rottweiler chews a steak.
(A trivial side note: according to the several sources, Kinski was a raving lunatic throughtout production, and threatened to quit midway through the film, because he in real life is actually borderline insane. However, Herzog is also kind of nuts, and he told Kinski that if Kinski walked off the set, he would shoot him and then turn the gun on himself. You might think it just a story, but Herzog has confirmed it went down pretty much like that (although Kinski said Herzog actually brandished a gun, a charge Herzog denies), and even says he was prepared to actually go through with it. I bring this up to underscore the fact that without Kinski, there's probably no movie. I mean, nobody short of Marty Feldman would have had eyes like that. And I don't think you want him playing this role. Herzog dealt with the insane Kinski in a Goethe-like "deal with the devil". Appropriate for the "Master of German Expressionism", no?)
This sets up the real meat of the movie, which sends 40 or so men and 2 women ahead of Pizarro's expedition as kind of a "scout team", to scope out what's ahead and come back within a week. One look at Aguirre and you know that' s not happening, though. Main players in the scout team:
Ursua, the leader (for the first day, anyway); his hot wife; Aguirre, his supposed second-in-command; Aguirre's poor young daughter who looks just like the girl from the remake of "Planet of the Apes" -- Estella Warren; Ursua's loyal man, Armando; Aguirre's creepy enabling friend, Perucho; A black slave with a Ben Wallace 'fro, who will be known as Ben Wallace for purposes of this recap; the aforementioned Brother Carbajal, who voice-over narrates much of the goings-on; and a bunch of other men we'll call "Indian Food".
The first day is them rafting down a treacherous river, surrounded by jungle, a growing sense of hopelessness in the air. One of the three rafts gets stuck in an "eddy", because they suck, and the other two land on the jungle shore and send some dudes to go over and save them. Herzog gives us multiple shots of the stuck raft, all from the prespective of the other rafts (far away), and the pathetic struggles of the Indian Food onboard. There's 2 South American slaves rowing, and 7 Spanish guys ordering them around. Night falls, and gunfire and explosions are heard over by the stuck raft. What will become of the Indian Food?
Now would be a good time to tell you about the pace of the film, which is extremely leisurely. It's truly an art film -- a modern audience would surely call it boring. I mentioned the shots of the soldiers on the stuck raft -- he keeps going back to them, staying on them. It's always the same shot, too. There's probably 5 minutes total of the people struggling on the raft. And many other shots are like that as well. Keep that in mind as I go through the narrative -- all of these things take a lot of time to happen. The good thing about this pace is it allows you to take in the whole scene, including the jungle around them. The sense of dread is heightened by this. It is in fact a horror movie in the "Blair Witch Project" vein, where the characters are doomed from the start by their own lunacy and the smothering nature around them.
Well, the saving party gets over there the next morning and finds 6 dead soldiers on the raft, with the 2 slave/rowers and one piece of Indian Food missing. This starts a disturbing trend in the movie, where people just literally escape from the film and we never hear from them again. The total number of ecapees at this point is three. Ursua decides the men need a Christian burial, but in his first act of defiance, Aguirre tells creepy Perucho to "make sure the cannon doesn't get rusty". Perucho (humming the whole time -- you later realize he hums when he's thinking of doing something malevolent.) blows up the raft with the men on it. Ursua doesn't punish anybody, and you realize it's only a matter of time before Aguirre takes over, forshadowing that other great and insane Aguirre, Mark, in the '89 NBA finals. But I digress.
The next night the tide rolls in and the other 2 rafts float away, and Ursua is all about going back to Pizarro on foot so they can make it back within a week. But the men are cutting down trees to make another raft, strangely without consulting him. They have a meeting, and Aguirre's treachery (as opposed to his insanity -- that comes later) is revealed. Aguirre wants to continue the scout team and find El Dorado, and Ursua wants to go back. Ursua is shot, out of the blue, by someone out of frame. Presumably, it's Aguirre or Perucho. Armando rushes Aguirre and is also shot. Aguirre gives a look like, "Does anybody else want some of this?", and nobody takes him up on it. Under Aguirre's direction, they elect as their new leader a fat nobleman we'll call the Load. The Load is understandably apprehensive, having just seen what happened to the last leader. But he accepts because he has no choice, and they build huge raft with like a house and an outhouse and a horseport on it, and set out down the river for El Dorado.
(Before they do, they have a trial with Carvajal as judge, and Ursua is sentenced to death for treason on trumped-up charges. The Load grants him clemency, which causes Aguirre (who suggested Ursua be killed in the first place) to do a double take at him, and we then know the Load is ultimately doomed. Other notable things that happen are: Perucho hums while looking up and down Ursua's hot wife, and Armando kills a guard and escapes (Death toll now 8 (including one of the saving party who is trapped by indians), escapees now total 4).)
And a word on the blood in this movie: fake. Looks like they mixed tomato soup with milk -- it's practically pink. Evertime someone bleeds, I think they just spilled lunch on themselves, or hurled. It's embarassing.
So the remaining scout party members set off on the houseraft, and it spirits are up. These people want to follow Aguirre and the Load because of promises of wealth. The float by some South Americans, and Aguirre asks the token South American translator (who earlier told Hot Wife "I used to be somebody...now I'm just a slave") what they are whooping and hollering at the raft. He says "Food floating by" or somesuch. Aguirre is not deterred, and gradually you learn that he plans on taking not only El Dorado but the whole continent for himself, and challenging things like, I don't know, Spain for world supremecy. It's a good plan, a solid plan. But the South Americans won't give up their continent that easy...
They drift to an abandoned village, and in the greatest moment of the movie, strip Ben Wallace down to his underwear and have him run ahead of the Spanish army to scare the South Americans. Hey, it worked for the Pistons. That would scare me, too. He's like trying to stay behind the guys with the guns, but they prod him on. War in the 16th century was so silly. So, they find the village is indeed abandoned, and also find remnants of cannabalism (dun-dun-dun!). So, the morale of the group is going down. Later, the Load is eating like the King he is and the others are doling out corn kernel-by-kernel to each other (a kernel for you...a kernel for you...), and the Load gets mad at the horse and orders the group to leave it on the riverbank, away from him. This causes Brother Carvajal to realize the craziness of the whole thing, as he says, "Dude, I've seen entire tribes of South Americans run from one horse. Plus, we could have at least eaten it!" Aguirre says (in his own mind) "that's it!" and the Load is found strangled. He died the way he lived -- overweight.
So, Aguirre does what he's wanted to do since the movie began and he has Ursua hung by an ever-humming Perucho. This causes hot wife to put on a fancy dress and walk into the jungle, never to be seen again. I don't know why she put on the fancy dress. For those of you keeping score, that's escape #5. Better than Mambo #5, but not by much.
As she leaves, one can feel the movie unraveling and devolving at a rapid rate. Aguirre starts referrng himself as "The Wrath of God", though it feels more like "The bad Seatlle Seahawks QB". In the second best bit in the movie, Aguirre walks up behind a dude counting to ten: 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...(Aguirre cuts his head off, it rolls downhill and ends up facing towards the sky, at which point the disembodied head says, and I quote)10. People start to get hit by arrows from unseen asailants. They run into a tree that takes the roof off the houseraft. Finally, Aguirre's poor daughter who looks like Estalla Warren gets hit by an arrow, and everyone starts to hallucinate. Ben Wallace gets hit by an arrow, and does the New Age trick of creating his own reality when he says, "That arrow isn't there...the raft isn't there". So does Carvajal. Aguirre feeds off all this crap, and goes into full delusion mode where he thinks he's going to marry his daughter and conquer South America and challenge Spain. And then the monkeys show up.
That's right, monkeys.
They're covering the boat, and Aguirre is trying in vain to chase them away while he goes on his insane rant. They're cute, but probably diseased. Not that it matters now. Everyone is dead or dying except Aguirre, and the raft drifts on. The final shot goes around and around the raft, showing the dead and dying on every corner,with Aguirre chasing monkeys. It's the best mass use of a random animal at the end of a movie I've seen since Magnolia. Cue the credits.
Gosh, what a bleak movie. The message seems to be, "If you're out in the jungle and you have to follow somebody, don't pick the dude with the craziest eyes." Good advice for those of you on safari, or who live in Butler, WI. Also, "Don't trust the people you just conquered because they probably don't like you very much." Good advice for those who are occupying a just-conquered county like say, Iraq for example. Also, "Don't make the fat guy King", "Don't abandon your only horses just because the fat guy says so", and finally, "If you're in South America, keep watch because armies of monkey can get all up on ya just like THAT."
3 out of 5 overpriced popcorns, for the weird eyes and monkeys, and the opening and closing shots. But not higher because it's kinda boring.
Monkey Monkey. Another funny word. Queue the monkeys.
--MDP
posted by Mike Pape @ 7:50 AM
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