"Teenagers are just going to have sex anyway"

Teenagers are just going to eat what they want anyway (like you can stop them from going to Burger King when you're not watching), so why even present carrots and fruits and stuff as an alternative? Shouldn't they be making up their own minds? So what if the foods they eat contribute to a slow and stinky death? TV preaches those foods at them all the time, in a non-judgmental fashion. All your food-pyramids and "diet plans" are just unrealistic moralizing.

You parents should be researching drugs and devices to make these fatty, sugary death foods less unsafe for teens. That sounds like a job for the government, actually. I think our tax dollars should go to programs that allow our teens to eat the foods they want (because, as I explained, they're going to anyway, the little immoral scamps) and still be healthy. That way, they will figure out for themselves that actions have no consequences whatsoever.

The government should also pass out cigarettes in school, you know, so kids can decide if they like 'em.