NBA Predictions, because I have to.

I know I said I wasn't going to post anything until Monday, but I was wrong. I need to needlessly predict the next round of the NBA Playoffs. Quickly, now, before anyone realizes it's not Monday yet.

Miami Shaq-Wades vs. Washington Wierdos

I actually think Washington will give them a good series. Arenas and Hughes will have to keep up with Wade and Eddie Jones, but on the flip side Wade and Jones will have to also keep up with them. The main factor in this series will be Shaq, and if Etan Thomas and Brendan Haywood can do anything to contain him. I think they can, but eventually Wade and Shaq will just wear this Wiz team down. The weirdest non-bad team ever will go home, and the NBA can take heart that a team without anything even resembling a point guard didn't make it into the conference finals.

Verdict: Miami in 6

Detroit Cup-Throwers vs. Indiana Insane

This Indiana team is amazing. Let me point to my First Round predictions, where I uncannily predicted they would win game 7 in Boston against all odds. I don't think they can carry this momentum into Detroit and give them any sort of scare, however. Detroit knows them too well. They played a 7-game series last year and it was a symphony of ugly yet effective basketball played at the highest level. Indiana lost to Detroit last year, and this year, they don't even have a guy to guard Hamilton. Detroit worries me because they can't shoot at all, but they'll score enough to win against the Bad News Bears here.

Verdict: Detroit in 5

San Antonio Steadies vs. Seattle Ray Allens

Unlike most people, I think Seattle has a chance in this series. Oddly enough, I think it may come down to Ginobli vs. Allen, even though San Antonio has the best overall player in the series, Tim "Am I Injured or Not?" Duncan. Seattle's going to shoot well enough to win two games, but can they carve out a third or fourth somehow? Heck no. San Antonio has made a career out of outlasting teams like this in playoff series. Yawn.

Verdict: San Antonio in 6

Phoenix Freak Show vs. Dallas Waves of Good Players.

The NBA has never seen a team quite like Phoenix. I mean never. They are athletic beyond belief, with a point guard who mixes everything up into a nice basketball stew. Dallas is now an All-Star team, though, and since I picked them in the first round to get to the finals, I'll stick with them.

Verdict: Dallas in 7

Side Show: Best of my predictions from the first round.

I got 7 of the 8 series' winners correct, with the only exception being the Seattle/Sacramento disaster. Who knew that the Freshmakers sucked? I gotta think of a new name for them. I was right about many things, however. Allow me to quote myself:

Detroit has too much defense and too much relentless athleticism for Philadelphia to even hope to deal with.

It'll be a close series -- can this Indiana team really win a game 7 in the hellhole that is Boston? I say yes.

Depth will get them (Memphis) exactly what it gave them last year -- a first round exit.

Dirk may not even have to show up (and he didn't), with how well they've been playing.

Again, thank you for your support.