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Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Vacation Over: Here's What I Wrote in the Car

(I wrote this in the car on my way up to Rockford, IL, for the wedding of Mr. and Mrs. A):

I’m sitting here with this laptop in my very lap thinking about what a great life I have that I live in an age when people can whip out little computers and use them to type things while they’re barreling through the flats of Illinois at 73mph[1]. I have traveled for a total of 13 hours and 47 minutes today, and have seen all different kinds of clouds. I’ve seen big poofy clouds, light wispy translucent clouds, dark clouds, rain-carrying clouds, clouds that looked like chipmunks (I'll upload a pic later), and small gray clouds sitting in sharp relief from the big white clouds behind them. Do you realize that the things we Americans call “clouds” are just the reflection of light off of tiny water droplets floating in the air? Isn’t that cool? You should contemplate clouds more.

The sky is painted with lighted pastels, pinks and beiges in back and blue/gray clouds in front. We used to call this dusk back in the day. It really is pretty. This is about the time we could anticipate starting a rousing Friday-night game of “kick the can” back when I was 11. Any earlier than dusk and people were still too easy to see.

I’d say that about 98% of radio talk shows are completely worthless, and by that I mean: they add nothing to the substance of debates in this country, they aren’t funny in the least, and they only exist to get the accursed “talking points” out on some side of some subject. How come there are no moderates or centrists out there with talk shows? Decent shows I heard in my 14 hours today include The Musers on The Ticket (of course), Laura Ingraham (who is funny), and the son of this guy from my church who does a radio show for the LCMS radio station in St. Louis. Indecent shows include everyone else.

When I get to my destination, I will be expected to eat. By that time it’ll be after 9pm. That’s gonna keep me up tonight. I hope that house doesn’t have thin walls, because I will be rattling some winners off them, let me tell you.

Just passed an exit for “Earlville”. Suppose everyone in that town is named Earl? I knew a guy named Earl once…he was like 19 years old and had a full beard. This was 1993, when that type of behavior was considered weird. Great guy, though.

The most popular talk show subjects for the day: The missing hot girl in Aruba; The Michael Jackson non-verdict (focusing on his freakishness – can we get over the fact that he’s white-skinned already? We know he's not black anymore); Howard Dean calling Republicans the party of “Christian White Guys”; Ron Kittle calling out Barry Bonds for not signing charity autographs; The Spurs’ Game One victory over the Pistons last night; weed.

Also, Glenn Beck seemed to be obsessed with the Ring Tone Frog song that’s #1 in England right now. He went so insane about it that he let his buddy Denny take the last half-hour of the show.

We’re at interstate 88. Getting very close to Rockford. You can kinda smell it from here.

Stopped at a “Kum & Go” for a bathroom break today. Best name of a convenience-based business since Hot & Now. May even be better.

[1] Unconfirmed. If pressed, the parties involved will swear they were barreling at 65.


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