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Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Audioblogs

I've been exploring the Audioblogs of the world here today, and I've gotta admit the concept is pretty interesting. It's basically a bunch of Brian Rigginses (sorry, Brian, but you know it's true) who get new music, comment pithily on it, and provide a free mp3 sample so we all can see if we like it. Sometimes they have older and out-of-print stuff there, too. Here's a link to a blog that compiles a list of these "Audioblogs".

Today I've found: Herbie Hancock's "Rockit" (without the video with the disembodied manequin parts that freaked me out so as a child) and a new song by that band with the insane Swedish lead singer, "The Concretes." Three Cheers for the internet!

Also, I watched the last half of the depressing Bjork musical Dancer in the Dark. My wife tells me I came in right as it got depressing, so my view on the movie might be a little skewed. I don't want to even think about it and explain the plot to you -- that's how sad it was. Bjork was good, but here's the thing: When I wrote the word "musical" up there you may have glossed over that and thought I couldn't really mean "musical". But you're oh so wrong. The movie's 2 hour and 15 minute running time is padded with occasional song-and-dance numbers that are eminently fast-forwardable and totally detract from the depressing story.

Look, I know the whole point of the movie is that Bjork escapes into a musical daydream-fugue whenever she hears any beat. It's about escaping and blindness*. I totally get that. But musicals (much like country music) are not a legitimate art form, and I don't want them cluttering up my TV screen. Ever. It's just a personal bias I have -- much like some Jesus-haters can't watch any entertainment by Mel Gibson since he made the Passion of the Christ, I can't watch any movie where people inexplicably** break into song.

The only good thing I can say about Dancer in the Dark is that it draws you in -- I just had to stay with it until the end to find out if her son got that stupid operation. It's really nothing more than a glorified Lifetime movie with bad songs. In fact, if the jep-loving ladies at Lifetime put down the Doobie Slims long enough to write a musical, Dancer would be the end product. I don't know if that's good or bad, I just know that not even an army of me could hold me down long enough to watch it again.

* Oh, did I not mention Bjork was blind in the movie? And that she saves all her money (and later makes a bunch of bad choices) so her son can have an operation that will save him from her family's genetic blindness? And that the scum she lives with takes advantage of her blindness and steals her money to pay for his wife's spending habits? And that he begs her to kill him in order to get her money back, which she does and gets a murder conviction (as well as a rousing courtroom musical number) for it? And that a prison guard totally develops an Icelandic crush on her in prison? And that she ends up making bad choices that lead to her execution? And that her son ends up getting the operation, causing her to break into song as she's being hung? I just had to tell somebody all this. I feel better now.

** In this movie, it was explained that she was escaping into a dream world because her world sucked so bad. This makes her totally apenuts, but at least it made narrative sense. That didn't stop me from hating it every time a song started, though. Three Cheers for the concept of Fast Forwarding!

7 Comments:

  • At 9:24 AM, Blogger Brian said…

    I know it's true, Mike. ANd to be honest, I've toyed with the idea of buying some webspace and making my blog at least part AudBlog. But I'm broke. And, I get the sinking feeling that nobody'd ever really gave a crap if I made them a mix ever again, because, hey...they already heard "Moon Over Shark City" on my web site.

     
  • At 2:13 PM, Blogger Flybeard the Sailor said…

    Mike,
    My girlfriend loves Dancer in The Dark. I definitely agree with much of what you're saying, except I like some musicals. The thing for me with Dancer in the Dark is it's so slow-moving. There's nothing inherently bad about it (in my eyes), I just think you appreciate more if you're a Bjork fan, which I'm not so much. But I'm working on it, for Sarah's sake. Is Jill a Bjork fan? Oh yeah, and it is pretty depressing through the whole thing. She's blind and poor and works in a factory.

     
  • At 7:36 AM, Blogger jill said…

    no, i'm not a bjork fan. i thought the movie was sweet for a while. until all the insanity started. i don't think michael can give a fair review since he's just really reviewing my synopsis of the whole thing. boo michael. and the Lifetime viewing public would not understand that movie, for the record.

    brian, listen to nyles lannon. n.lannon.

     
  • At 12:10 PM, Blogger Mike Pape said…

    I think the only thing problematic for the Lifetime viewer would be the killing scene. If they could somehow cut that from the film, the fraus would eat it up like Oprah eats up dieting.

    I'm way more of a Bjork fan than Jill, Paul. Didn't you see the "Army of Me" reference?

    And there's no way I'm going back and watching the first part again, knowing what happens at the end. Your synopsis will have to do.

     
  • At 1:08 PM, Blogger Flybeard the Sailor said…

    I'm not really a Bjork fan, though I'm sure Sarah would have caught the reference had she read your blog. Also, I don't see DITD on Lifetime anytime soon, killing scene or not. When are you cats getting to Rockford?

     
  • At 1:59 PM, Blogger jill said…

    so mike i was just reading that lars von trier first called the movie _taps_ and had tap dancing in every scene. they changed it because no one wanted to teach bjork how to tap dance.

    we'll get in later on friday.

     
  • At 2:12 PM, Blogger jill said…

    whoa sorry more crazy trivia, courtesy of imdb.com.

    bjork says that because of the trauma she suffered playing this part (getting in touch with her character) she won't do another film. ever.

    in the scene where jeff and her are singing on the railroad tracks, it's actually radiohead's thom yorke singing jeff's part.

    and here's a fun one:

    In very beginning of the film Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998) you can hear the song "My Favourite Things", which is contained in this movie. During the 27 seconds this song is played, you can see a sign held by a Vietnamese man with the name "Selma" on it.

     

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