Pam Anderson Lee Rock Lee Loves Chickens More Than Fat People

("ha, ha." is all she hears)*

Every single word of this imdb.com story blurb is awesome, so I'm going to just post it here.

Pamela Anderson has lost her bid to get the bust of Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) founder Colonel Harland Sanders removed from the state Capitol building. Kentucky Governor Ernie Fletcher has written to the actress/model explaining the bust will stay put, despite Anderson's claim that Sanders is a symbol of cruelty to chickens. In his letter, Fletcher wrote, "Colonel Sanders remains a Kentucky icon. His success story has been an inspiration to many. The industry he began has employed hundreds of thousands of workers over the years. His business and his legacy have been good for Kentucky." Anderson has fired back at Fletcher, calling Sanders' company one "that mutilates God's creatures." The actress has teamed up with animal activists at People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals to urge fast food fans to boycott KFC until the company agrees to clean up its slaughterhouse policies.

So, the vegetarians at PETA are boycotting KFC and they don't know why it's not working, eh? Think about it -- that's like me boycotting "Sex and the City." They're "urging fast food fans" to go where? McDonald's? Wendy's? Hot n' Now? Are those places really any better? I've seen Super Size Me, so don't try and fool me. I know all those places use pseudomeat products and chemical additives. Mmm...chemicized pseudomeat...

Also, if you're PETA, can't you find a better (and more respected) spokesperson than a former Playboy centerfold who is more famous for her stupidity and boobs than anything else? She's like a dumb, hooker-like version of Dolly Parton, without the down-home charm. If Pam Anderson comes to you with this idea to force the State of Kentucky to take down a statue of Colonel Sanders, how in the heck do you say, "We support you and lend our name to your quixotic quest"? Don't you distance from the whole thing, saying, "Yes, KFC is evil, but we have no idea who this blonde bimbo is or what planet she came from"? Did they mistake web hits for respect?

I also love the condescending way Governor Fletcher responds to her, attempting to make it a Pam Anderson vs. Kentucky issue. Ahh, politicians. The words he wrote might sound professional, but underneath them he's sticking out his middle finger and telling her to "Go back to Cali, missy, because there's no way the pro-chicken-rights lobby is going to get anything done here. This is Kentucky, girl -- have you lost your mind?"

How did Colonel Sanders become "a symbol of cruelty to chickens" anyway? Don't hate the serial chicken killer, hate what we've become as a people. Shouldn't Pam Anderson being lobbying for Kentucky to take down statues of us, the people who eat KFC and keep Mr. Sanders' enterprise in business? It's something to think about...for a second. C'mon -- they're chickens, not refugees.

* This picture was the most tasteful one of Ms. Anderson I could find, and it was further edited by This is Epth Nation for renegade-cleavage-related reasons. Sorry, but new reader, please put down your Jones and stay awhile...you might like it here.