This is Epth Nation

Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Why Aren't You Panicking?

(By the time you see the Red Flag, it's already too late. Just try and go limp.)
It looks like we here in Dallas are in store for another 70 degree day with high winds. I like how weather people always can think of something to panic about, even when it's nice. Here we are, another day that's 70's and sunny, and all these people can talk about it fire danger. "Red Flag Warnings -- Woop Woop! You know, we had some fires not too long ago that caused a lot of damage. What were they caused by, you ask? An errant cigarette? Sombody firing guns on the prairie? No, they were caused by teenagers who saw that there was a Red Flag Warning on the news and thought it would be a good idea to play a prank and start some fires. Ahh...the media.

I wonder: If there's some sort of danger out there and local news hasn't told us about it even though they totally knew, could we file a class action lawsuit against them for not telling us? Cuz that would explain the state of investigative reporting today. "Coming up next: Eating a tub of lard might be bad for you." It's ridiculous. Why do we put up with it? Is there anyone out there that doesn't know about the dangers of online predators or identity thieves or carbon monoxide leaks yet?

In other words: Just because one person gets hit by a blimp, that does not mean that blimps have some sort of "hidden danger" on which we need to waste 3 minutes of news time. Also, stop reporting things as news that are just common sense. That's what we have warning labels for.

It is very dry and yellow from lack of rain here. I guess we're in a drought, but what it feels like is an extended vacation in the middle of January. It is so nice out I could scream. But do you know what I'm going to do? Fear f___ing fires, that's what.


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