This is Epth Nation

Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Greatest Series Ever?

(Above: the redemption of the German people is finally complete. In fact, go out and hug a German today.)

Well, the torture is finally over, and the good groinpunchers won for once. There will be no NBA Armageddon II (a second Detroit-San Antonio finals), and we won't have to watch Tim Duncan sulk down the court after not getting a foul call until next year. Since Dallas loves only winners, this town is abuzz with Mavs affection. If only it were abuzz in selling me good houses at discount prices. Anyway, we here at This is Epth Nation wish to congratulate Dirk, Jet, J-Ho, Keeezie, Crackhouse, Na-Jop, Damp, The White Barry White (ever hear Keith Van Horn talk?), Griff, DJ Moose Benga, and the greatest player ever to come out of my hometown. You've earned the adulation of the masses of Dallas, but don't enjoy it for very long because if you lose to Steve Nash and the Suns this town will view you as total failures again. Welcome to Big D.

I could break down the game, but I will spare you that injustice. I will, however, point out how much a real coach can mean to a team. Avery Johnson has been awesome, and is already one of the best coaches in the NBA. What he has done with this formerly soft team is amazing. And what did Terry Stotts do with a formerly soft team? Make them a currently soft team. Grr.

Anyway, I keep getting sidetracked here, and I'm sorry for that. The important thing is I delivered a pizza to a woman named Sheila Barf last night, and now my life is divided into B.B. (Before Barf) and A.B. (After Barf). I mean, her last name was Barf -- it was on the ticket, and she signed it on the charge slip. Or at least it looked like she signed "Barf." What am I supposed to do with that? Was she born that way or did she change her name or (gasp) marry into it? The mind, dear reader, boggles.

Oh, and I haven't been able to get my VCR working to watch the Alias finale (read: it's not on bittorrent yet). I will have much to say, I think, about it. Don't worry -- I've heard all about it already. I'm horrible at staying away from spoilers. I will say that the rumors I mentioned yesterday were about the death of Jack, and at least he got to save the day a couple of times before he kicked the bucket. And I think everyone is happy with what happened to Sloane, no matter how overdone the whole "eternal hell" thing is.


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