Public Service Announcement I

Please, folks, remember that nobody wants to see you naked, especially if you're a hairy dude. Don't answer the door without a shirt on. I know it's your house, and you can wear whatever you want inside it. However, there currently is no way of getting your pizza to you without personal contact. Therefore, put a shirt on, or we will provide one for you. You wouldn't want me to come to your house without a shirt on, believe me. You'd kick me in the knee and send me on my way. So why do you insist on insulting me with your hair sweater? Nobody wants to see that. Nobody.

Clothes are good. I know that's a tough sell in this day-and-age, but it's true nonetheless. Wear more clothes, everybody.