This is Epth Nation

Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Epth Super Fun 2006 Fall TV Preview Introduction

(I didn't watch the 4 seasons without Jean Smart, so I sure as heck aren't going to watch this one with her. What's next? Delta Burke as a terrorist mastermind?)

The summer is almost over, and do you know what that means? Yes, it means another month and a half of 100+ degree weather here in Dallas, but that's not all...It's time for the Fall TV season! No longer will we be forced to watch sucky reruns, MTV scripted reality dramas, and America's many talents. Fall is when the real TV takes over, kind of like when Britain and France tried to fight Hitler, but then we showed up and were like, "Ok, the real army's here now, never fear," and stuff.

Ok, so it's not like that. Who cares? There's a bunch of new shows to mock!

Last year's preview turned into an extended plea for Neilsen families to watch Arrested Development, which ended up being cancelled 13 episodes in anyway. The good news is, as I reported earlier, G4 is running the show's 53 golden episodes weeknights at 11:30, which now that I think about it I don't know if that's Eastern or Real time. I need to figure that out. Anyway, it's also on the web somewhere, so don't fricking cry if you haven't got G4.

Living in a post-AD world, it's hard to come up with a wishlist for the upcoming TV season. The Office seems like it's on pretty solid ground thanks to a lead-in named My Name is Earl and Steve Carrell's string of hit movies. Lost is going crazy with this summer web-game, and I guess it's good to hope that the Hanso/Mittelwerk/plucky girl detective/Sprite/pointless game didn't kill the actual TV show. I think it'll be fine, though. Alias is mercifully dead (and that last episode seems worse and worse after every season 1-2 rerun I see, btw. They messed up the Lena Olin character bad), SNL is losing half of its cast (prediction: it will actually be funnier...woah, this limb I'm standing on is creaking), Flavor Flav's next failed attempt to find "love" has already started, and I have no real desire to keep all the Americal Idol rip-offs straight in my head anymore.

If you'd like to follow along with this preview at home, go here. I'm doing it by network to help you organize your weekly watching schedules. What's that? You have TiVo and can watch things anytime you want? Well, you should probably work on the last 3 years of 24 before the new season starts. You clearly have no time for reading this. Get on it! Your TiVo demands a time sacrifice!

First up is NBC...

Editorial aside: My wife and I have now tried twice to get into 24, and the pilot episode killed it for us each time. I don't care about any of the characters, the real-time format's novelty wears off in 20 minutes, and it's too over the top for even me. Please forgive me. Next up? Veronica Mars. (?)


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