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Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

FYI

Just to let you know, in case you're thinking of buying one of those extended warranties they offer with your next laptop computer purchase, if you let roaches live and breed in that laptop, your warranty will be voided.

If only a customer we had today would have known that -- he could have avoided looking like both a jerk and a moron when he said, "I'll see you in court." Yeah, only if we sue you for bringing the roaches into our service environment, jerk.

(important note: currently I work in the service department of a computer store. This is not a net positive.)

You can also assume that what goes for roaches also goes for any other member of the animal kingdom. Don't let a queue of monkeys into your laptop computer, because you'll be out a computer, as well as some monkeys. And if you try to get around it by claiming it just broke, and then the monkeys showed up as if out of the air, attracted to the scent of broken electronics, and they proceeded to mate on it, and smash it, and generally act like monkeys in its general vicinity, and so your warranty should not be voided because the laptop was the one that conjured the simian problem by breaking in the first place, and you expect the computer to not only be fixed, but also that the warranty company find a home for the result of the monkey mating session, which is none other than a bunch of baby monkeys, which also get into the laptop, and can break even smaller electronic parts with their underdeveloped baby hands...

They won't believe you, and neither will a judge. Animals and laptops don't mix, kind of like milk and cola or Blacks and Mormons. Never forget that.

--MDP

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