Radio Ads I Heard Today.
As I listened this morning to my favorite radio station's wondrous programming, I heard two commercials I deemed "of interest". Now, you must realize that I absolutely hate advertisements. They are part of the consumer culture I am so beaten down by, and I will go to great lengths to avoid them whenever possible. Often it is not possible to avoid ads however, since they are everywhere. This makes me edgy. But this morning I happened to be listening to the radio and decided not to turn it off for a six-minute block of commercials. Most of them were your standard ridiculous sales pitches, but 2 stood out.
The first was an ad for jewelry, I think, where the dude actually finished with the statement, "She (referring of course to your woman, or any woman, or woman x) says it's the thought that counts, but let's face it -- it's really the present." Really. Imagine for me a marketing session, where immaculately dressed and pressed business jerks and jerkettes are going over what their ad campaign is going to be. One particular tool stands up and says, "You know what? It's not the thought that counts -- it's really the present!" And the other turds nod their head in agreement. Is this really what we've come to as a society? Where people who read the tendencies of our culture for a living think we no longer believe "it's the thought that counts"? We now say, "it doesn't matter if you think about me at all, just get me a present I'll like." Does anyone else see how sick that is? Has it really come to this? "The Thought Counting" is one of the principles we base our society on -- it's a core value, if you will, along with, "It's not whether you win or lose it's how you play the game", and, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". We are all taught these things, and when we reject them, society scowls.
And just for the record, there's no better way to separate the sheep from the goats (so to speak) than with some truth syrum and this question -- "What is more important to you -- getting a thoughtful present or getting an expensive one you can show off?" It's like the shibboleth of 21st century American women. Anyone who answers the latter better watch her bum so they don't ram it into the curb when I kick her there. She is a ridiculous person and she needs to change before she becomes a 50-year-old husk with no soul. That's just the way it is -- life's designed to shame you into good behavior, with or without societal pressures. It's called your conscience. Stop searing it, you golddigging wenches.
Whew. the other commerical I heard was for "Full Throttle" Energy Drink(Not a made-up name). Now, when I first heard it, I thought it was a comical fake product along the lines of the current Geico commericals, i.e.: "No, I just saved a lot of money on car insurance"; or, the brilliant Sprite "Jooky" ads. But it wasn't. This is apparently a real product, and the ad campaign references (it's not fair to say "parodies", because the product is real and the ad is real even though it's not serious) one of my all-time favorite Saturday Night Live skits -- the fake ad for "Happy Fun Ball". In this SNL skit, Phil Hartman voice-overs a commercial for what appears to be just a generic-looking bouncy red ball. He then goes into a long list of disclaimers, saying things like, "Do not expose Happy Fun Ball to extreme heat; or my personal favorite, "Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball." It's funny. But the ad was copying this skit, right down to the "Do not taunt..." thing. That's why I thought it was a fake product. Apparently, the immaculately dressed and pressed people who came up with this commercial wanted to have it both ways -- they wanted to reference a fake product and at the same time say their non-fake product was really, as in actually, dangerous. Set aside the issue of whether or not you want to advertise your food product, any food product, as being dangerous -- that's not what I think is interesting. What I think is interesting is that this ad campaign is referencing a rather obscure skit -- I'm guessing less than 25% of people got it. And the ones that didn't get it just thought it was a funny ad that expresses (ooo--it's on again, right now. They really lay the fake danger on thick -- "If can begins to smoke, step away.") the "extreme" nature of this crappy drink. For the 25% of us that do get it, it's rather confusing. I guess sometimes it pays to be dumb, or at least to not remember every obscure SNL skit you've seen. But the question remains: what were they trying to do? Did they think that everyone would remember that skit? Did they think that nobody would remember that skit?
I guess my real issue is why people would buy something called Full Throttle Energy Drink in the first place. Trying to fill your Jesus-shaped hole with liquid maybe?
I'll have to ask my wife if she remembers that skit, and if so does she intend to drink lots of Full Throttle Energy Drink.
The first was an ad for jewelry, I think, where the dude actually finished with the statement, "She (referring of course to your woman, or any woman, or woman x) says it's the thought that counts, but let's face it -- it's really the present." Really. Imagine for me a marketing session, where immaculately dressed and pressed business jerks and jerkettes are going over what their ad campaign is going to be. One particular tool stands up and says, "You know what? It's not the thought that counts -- it's really the present!" And the other turds nod their head in agreement. Is this really what we've come to as a society? Where people who read the tendencies of our culture for a living think we no longer believe "it's the thought that counts"? We now say, "it doesn't matter if you think about me at all, just get me a present I'll like." Does anyone else see how sick that is? Has it really come to this? "The Thought Counting" is one of the principles we base our society on -- it's a core value, if you will, along with, "It's not whether you win or lose it's how you play the game", and, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". We are all taught these things, and when we reject them, society scowls.
And just for the record, there's no better way to separate the sheep from the goats (so to speak) than with some truth syrum and this question -- "What is more important to you -- getting a thoughtful present or getting an expensive one you can show off?" It's like the shibboleth of 21st century American women. Anyone who answers the latter better watch her bum so they don't ram it into the curb when I kick her there. She is a ridiculous person and she needs to change before she becomes a 50-year-old husk with no soul. That's just the way it is -- life's designed to shame you into good behavior, with or without societal pressures. It's called your conscience. Stop searing it, you golddigging wenches.
Whew. the other commerical I heard was for "Full Throttle" Energy Drink(Not a made-up name). Now, when I first heard it, I thought it was a comical fake product along the lines of the current Geico commericals, i.e.: "No, I just saved a lot of money on car insurance"; or, the brilliant Sprite "Jooky" ads. But it wasn't. This is apparently a real product, and the ad campaign references (it's not fair to say "parodies", because the product is real and the ad is real even though it's not serious) one of my all-time favorite Saturday Night Live skits -- the fake ad for "Happy Fun Ball". In this SNL skit, Phil Hartman voice-overs a commercial for what appears to be just a generic-looking bouncy red ball. He then goes into a long list of disclaimers, saying things like, "Do not expose Happy Fun Ball to extreme heat; or my personal favorite, "Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball." It's funny. But the ad was copying this skit, right down to the "Do not taunt..." thing. That's why I thought it was a fake product. Apparently, the immaculately dressed and pressed people who came up with this commercial wanted to have it both ways -- they wanted to reference a fake product and at the same time say their non-fake product was really, as in actually, dangerous. Set aside the issue of whether or not you want to advertise your food product, any food product, as being dangerous -- that's not what I think is interesting. What I think is interesting is that this ad campaign is referencing a rather obscure skit -- I'm guessing less than 25% of people got it. And the ones that didn't get it just thought it was a funny ad that expresses (ooo--it's on again, right now. They really lay the fake danger on thick -- "If can begins to smoke, step away.") the "extreme" nature of this crappy drink. For the 25% of us that do get it, it's rather confusing. I guess sometimes it pays to be dumb, or at least to not remember every obscure SNL skit you've seen. But the question remains: what were they trying to do? Did they think that everyone would remember that skit? Did they think that nobody would remember that skit?
I guess my real issue is why people would buy something called Full Throttle Energy Drink in the first place. Trying to fill your Jesus-shaped hole with liquid maybe?
I'll have to ask my wife if she remembers that skit, and if so does she intend to drink lots of Full Throttle Energy Drink.
posted by Mike Pape @ 11:59 AM
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