Mike goes too far.
I hate TV dramas. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I got to watch 3 shows on network TV tonight -- the first half hour of the O.C., the last 20 minutes of Survivior, and almost the entire hour of E.R. Here is the ranking of the entertainment value of the 3 shows, with 1 being best.
1) Survivior
2) O.C.
3) E.R.
And the gulf between 1 and 2 and 3 is huge. Survivior is so interesting, even 8 years into it or whatever. The people on the show are fully dedicated to entertaining us with their antics and weekly conniving. So what if we already knew all the guys were going to get voted off the second those dorks decided to trust that hussy Julie and her Oddjob-like henchwoman Twila. And so what if they voted off the only decent person left (and no, don't tell me that Dirty Hippie Scout is a decent person -- she's the classic fake decent person. Did you see her combing her goat hair and singing that annoying song as Sarge was sitting and trying to be alone? She's the devil. Who doesn't compete in challenges), who also happens to only have 1 1/2 legs? And so what if that comely yet strangely skanky liar Julie's plan to get rid of the guys and ingratiate herself to the ruling class appears to have worked, and she's threatening to Brkich her way to the final 3? And who cares if the human part of Eliza is threatening to be swallowed up by her own otherworldly eyes and boobs?
Please, please, vote Chris off. I still can't believe he couldn't get over that balance beam. That moment of disability is the reason he's still in this. Please put him out of my misery next time, gals? Ladies? Women? Wombynn? That's how it should be spelled, becauge you guys have wombs and want all the men to be voted off.
I keep hearing the OC this and the OC that, like it's a good trashy soap opera. I got news for you all -- It's Passions without the magic dummy (which describes Passions now, actually). The OC should call me back when it has some dialogue. But it is admittedly entertaining, the cringing at whatever line or lame soapy plot device is coming up next.
I hate TV dramas. And ER is the epitome of why. So self-righteous, contrived, and unrealistic. Why is there a tragedy every week? For ratings. And the tragedy every week kind of takes away the emotional resonance of the week's tragedy by week 200, wouldn't you say? I would. It's like the X-Files, another show that I didn't "get", much to the chagrin of many of my compatriots. It always looked to me like Sculder and Mulley were one inch away from being killed by some alien or supernatural thing every week, and the law of averages states that they would be dead in real life by at the very latest week 4. But every week they inexplicably lived. I hate TV dramas. You want real drama? Voting off the guy with one leg in a game to win a million dollars played by fame-whores. That's drama. This other stuff is just a compelling but horrifying train wreck (OC) or a dull and contrived show that's trying too hard to be "dramatic" (ER). Actors are quickly outliving their usefulness. You know what ER needs? Jar Jar Binks.
Oh, now I've gone too far.
1) Survivior
2) O.C.
3) E.R.
And the gulf between 1 and 2 and 3 is huge. Survivior is so interesting, even 8 years into it or whatever. The people on the show are fully dedicated to entertaining us with their antics and weekly conniving. So what if we already knew all the guys were going to get voted off the second those dorks decided to trust that hussy Julie and her Oddjob-like henchwoman Twila. And so what if they voted off the only decent person left (and no, don't tell me that Dirty Hippie Scout is a decent person -- she's the classic fake decent person. Did you see her combing her goat hair and singing that annoying song as Sarge was sitting and trying to be alone? She's the devil. Who doesn't compete in challenges), who also happens to only have 1 1/2 legs? And so what if that comely yet strangely skanky liar Julie's plan to get rid of the guys and ingratiate herself to the ruling class appears to have worked, and she's threatening to Brkich her way to the final 3? And who cares if the human part of Eliza is threatening to be swallowed up by her own otherworldly eyes and boobs?
Please, please, vote Chris off. I still can't believe he couldn't get over that balance beam. That moment of disability is the reason he's still in this. Please put him out of my misery next time, gals? Ladies? Women? Wombynn? That's how it should be spelled, becauge you guys have wombs and want all the men to be voted off.
I keep hearing the OC this and the OC that, like it's a good trashy soap opera. I got news for you all -- It's Passions without the magic dummy (which describes Passions now, actually). The OC should call me back when it has some dialogue. But it is admittedly entertaining, the cringing at whatever line or lame soapy plot device is coming up next.
I hate TV dramas. And ER is the epitome of why. So self-righteous, contrived, and unrealistic. Why is there a tragedy every week? For ratings. And the tragedy every week kind of takes away the emotional resonance of the week's tragedy by week 200, wouldn't you say? I would. It's like the X-Files, another show that I didn't "get", much to the chagrin of many of my compatriots. It always looked to me like Sculder and Mulley were one inch away from being killed by some alien or supernatural thing every week, and the law of averages states that they would be dead in real life by at the very latest week 4. But every week they inexplicably lived. I hate TV dramas. You want real drama? Voting off the guy with one leg in a game to win a million dollars played by fame-whores. That's drama. This other stuff is just a compelling but horrifying train wreck (OC) or a dull and contrived show that's trying too hard to be "dramatic" (ER). Actors are quickly outliving their usefulness. You know what ER needs? Jar Jar Binks.
Oh, now I've gone too far.
posted by Mike Pape @ 7:56 PM
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