This is Epth Nation

Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

MTV is a Cultural Wasteland and So Am I

Look, I know MTV is horrible for our culture, but it's like that proverbial train wreck that you can't stop watching. Or at least I can't. My wife turned me on to what may be the ultimate trashy MTV show (this side of that sexily pathetic experiment known as Undressed, of course). It's called Laguna Beach, and it involves what appears to be hundreds of impossibly good-looking teenagers who apparently spontaneously generated in Laguna Beach. I say they spontaneously generated because you never see their parents. That means their gigantic houses and expense accounts also just happened, much to the consternation of the continuity gods.

Anyway, with the parents out of the picture the kids are free to have social gatherings and hate each other and fall in "love" with each other and gossip constantly and travel in limos. The acting appears completely's like "Best in Show", only instead of the improvisations of comedic talents like Chris Guest you get the improv skills of some beach girl named Kristen. The acting is both authentic-seeming (i.e., these rich kids all seem actually stupid and superficial -- just like real rich kids!) and charmingly hypnotic. The time just flies by, and before you know it you've watched an hour of the thing and you want that skank Kristen to get her comeuppance. The show draws you in with its non-dialogue and lack of story movement. Seriously, could Keanually Uncharismatic Stephen just pick one or the other already? Better yet, he could pick neither and move to Moscow. This Stephen-"LC"-Kristen thing is so old it's susceptible to the West Nile Virus.

But if you like addictive shows and you think you can handle hours and hours worth of immoral behavior that should never be emulated, check it out.

Speaking of immoral behavior, MTV is bringing back My Stupid Sweet Sixteen for another season. I'd like to publicly thank them for giving this blog a reason to exist in August and September. Monday, Aug. 15th is the first episode. I am tired now, but when I wake up in the morning I will be quivering in anticipation. I'm clearly a 15-year-old girl in a 33-year-old man's body. If it were the other way around, that could make a disturbing movie.

And don't get me started on this season of the Real World...


  • At 10:27 PM, Blogger Danny said…

    Good to see that you are still plugging away on the blog. I do appreciate it.
    So I have a question for you, as I often do. Is laguna beach a reality show or a scripted show? You mentioned that it had a loose script; but I always thought that maybe it was a inside the pack kinda thing (you know, Discovery Channel Documentary style, but for a larger audience). You know the type of show that just films the future elite doing things that we, av'rage folk, could never that MTV "Doc" about those kids in Plano, Texas doing all that black mule heroin.
    Anyway, just curious. I look forward to hearing about the new episodes of the sweet 16 show.
    One more thing, next time you see Brian ask him about the Lego township (Unincorporated) we built in Brian's basement...and of course ask him about "buds".

    Take care.

  • At 11:29 PM, Blogger Brian said…

    I should probably devote a blog post to "playing legos" and "buds." But really, I clicked on comments today to ask mike a question: is it just a coincidence that August 15th is my birthday? The answer is "no." MTV is giving me a present that only they can: somebody crazier than Hart's dad.

  • At 6:45 AM, Blogger Mike Pape said…

    We couldn't tell if they were real people or actors, either. But they have to be actors, right? I mean, they go through such pains to communicate that these are real people doing real things, but everyone's so subdued and comfortable all the time. If you look at "The Real World", "Sweet 16", and every other MTV reality show, kids always act different in front of the camera. They are always a little freaked out and play to the camera, even subconsciously -- the Laguna kids aren't like that. Plus, if this were a reality show Kristen would be doing "confessional"-style interviews 10 times an episode.

    It may not be scripted, I mean they may just put the kids in a room and give them a general idea of where to take the scene. Then the kids think of stupid stuff to say and take the scene there.
    Sorry for the long answer.


Post a Comment

<< Home