This is Epth Nation

Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Wednesday, News, You, and Me

Hey, I checked my Google "AdSense" stuff yesterday and in July so far I've made $.04! That's a 400% increase over June! That's right, those annoying ads you see but don't click on nearly enough have made me a total of 5 cents. As Yakoff Smirnoff would say, "America, what a country."

Now on to the important news:

I'll start with a note about the 10pm newscasts in Dallas on Sunday night. They all had the same lead story -- In Arlington, cops went around to 400 houses for the express purpose of judging people who leave stuff in their cars. That's right, their response to the growing problem of people taking stuff that's not theirs is to go around and play "blame the victim" all day. It would be nice if when I fail at my job (which I do, and often), if I could go around and blame the people that I've hurt. Anyway, they put flyers on the cars they deemed "potential targets," making this distinction based on several factors: Is it locked? Is there anything valuable still inside the car? Is it a Honda Civic? If the answer to any of these is "yes", then (boom!) you get a flyer that judges you. Imagine coming out to your car and having an official police document under the wiper that tells you to "get your CD case out of the car because you're contributing to the crime problem."

It's all sleight of hand, people -- they're trying to distract you from the fact that they can't get a handle on the crime here in Dallas, and that the criminals have won. They are telling us that there's nothing left to do but lock ourselves in our homes, guns drawn and trained at the door.

Of course all the news outlets were positively positive about the cops wasting taxpayer money by spending all day judging people who weren't committing any crime. There was no questioning of those cops or of the pervasive "blame the victim" philosophy of the authorities around the Metroplex. There was only acceptance and the message that you, too, could be next. You could be getting a judgy flyer on your car, so get that Pink Floyd CD off the seat. You don't want it to be stolen, do you? What kind of moron wants things to be stolen? It's you're fault, you know.
Quick Scoreboard:
number of times my car has been broken into in Dallas: 4
number of car stereos lost to "the underworld": 2
approx. out-of-pocket expense to fix cars after the crimes: $1250
number of items recovered by Dallas Police: 0
number of police officers I talked to in person after the crimes: 0

Ok, NOW the real news:

President Bush last night announced his nominee for the Supreme Court. His name is Generic White Male, or at least that's what I saw under his picture on TV last night. Seriously, John G. Roberts is his name? It's like Bush said, "Forget all this talk of 'women' and 'minorities' -- I'm nominating the least ethnic person I can find!" My favorite quote so far about this has to be from some Planned Parenthood leader-drone:
"The nomination of John G. Roberts raises serious questions and grave concerns for women's health and safety. It is particularly troubling that Roberts went on the record calling for Roe v. Wade to be overturned when he served as a lawyer for the government," said Karen Pearl, interim president of Planned Parenthood Federation of America. "Only a nominee committed to protecting women's health and safety should be confirmed by the Senate."

As an aside, when did the pro-choice position become about "health and safety"? Isn't that the realm of the pro-lifers? Isn't pro-choice about, well, giving people a choice? Karen Pearl sets it up like you'd have to be against women's health and safety if you want to protect the unborn. Who would be anti-health? Who would be anti-safety? Grr.

And after a circus-like confirmation process that will probably involve allegations of harassment and pope abuse, finger-pointing, grandstanding, liberal fearmongering, conservative "rule-of-law" talk, and a big fat Filibuster, John G. Generic will be your next Supreme Court Justice. Bank it, unless he's got some skeletons in his closet we don't know about. I don't see a filibuster working here, mainly because Whitey hasn't done enough for the Democrats to demonize. At some point people are going to start wondering why our Court only has 8 justices, you know? The Dems would be better off to just make a little stink now and hope he's another David "Annexation without Representation" Souter in a Conservative's clothing. I'm 90% sure they're going to filibuster, though, because they've literally fallen in love with the concept. The Democrats want to marry filibustering.

In other news, scientists have determined that dark chocolate keeps blood pressure low. I'm sure they will be retracting this in a couple years, though, so don't go around eating truckloads of "special dark" and throwing out all the Krackels, Mr. Goodbars, and Generic Bars in an effort to counter your addiction to KFC.

My wife will be happy -- I didn't link to anything today! All the news out there is boring today, what can I say?


  • At 6:03 PM, Blogger Boom said…

    Um, am I missing something? Aren't the police sort of helping the criminals identify the best cars to rob by posting papers on the cars? I wonder if they post all the cars, makes, and adresses on a one-stop web site with a shopping list of items for the thieves also.

  • At 9:37 PM, Blogger Mike Pape said…

    I hadn't thought of that angle. I think the police are so beaten down and defeated that they believe the criminals already know which cars to burgle. They've conceded that the people who break into cars are Masterminds they just can't stop.


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