This is Epth Nation

Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

News -- Wed., July 6th

Just because I forgot: Happy America's birthday, everyone!

Now let's get down to business. Yesterday in Iraq the terrorist/outsurgent "theme" was "Attack Some Diplomats Day". A big time Egyptian diplomat was kidnapped by Al-Qaida, but two others escaped with a shot to the hand and a little scare. That makes Al-Qaida 1 for 3, which would be a pretty good average, if this were baseball. There's a lesson here for all of us, though: If you're traveling through Iraq with bodyguards, don't leave them because you just need to get a paper. Stuff's blowing up. That's all you need to know.

And three cheers for those Pakistani bodyguards, eh? Fighting off Al-Qaida is no easy task.

London was awarded the 2012 Olympics, which I predict will take a month to complete because of rain delays. It's been a good week for those Londoners -- first Pink Floyd reunites, and now this. It almost makes up for Madonna moving there. I wonder what they gave the Olympic Committee to get the bid...A year's supply of crumpets? Princess Di's secret diaries, the ones where she has an affair with Elvis and founds Microsoft? The mind boggles.

It looks like women get a raw deal yet again, as:

Men who took aspirin over five years slightly lowered their risk for prostate cancer, but women who took low doses over 10 years didn't reduce their risk of cancer, two separate studies indicate.

The conflicting results don't help settle the debate about whether aspirin and similar anti-inflammatory medicines could be used to prevent cancer. Doctors think different study designs and aspirin doses explain the contrasting findings. (chicago tribune story)

Isn't it just like Big Asprin to make a product that discriminates based on gender. This is unconstitutional! Time for a lawsuit! We need to pave life over like an asphalt highway so everyone gets the same exact amount and quality of opportunities, with equal chances of disease and mental problems. It's only fair, and fairness is what America is about. During this July 4th season, think about that.

I have to include this because it's just wacky. Martha Stewart is complaining about house arrest, and pines for those wonderful prison days. Life again becomes Office Space. "You'll go to a white collar resort prison -- you should be so lucky." Or maybe Martha's just trying desperately to keep herself in the public eye and humanize herself after her scummy insider trading scandal. All I know is: I don't want to know any more about Martha Stewart. Please stop telling me things about her.

Sadly, that's all the news I can find this morning that I care about even slightly. Oh, Ray Allen blasted away my hopes of getting him back in a Bucks uniform by agreeing to resign with the stinking Sonics. But I'd rather not think about that little nightmare, thank you very much.

Grr. Now I'm thinking about it. Darn you, George Karl.


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