This is Epth Nation

Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Weird Papa John's People Udpate

Last August I wrote about the top 8 people I come into contact with working at Papa John's. We here at Epth Nation have some more information about a couple of them that makes them seem even more weird:

4) Underwear Guy -- Our one nice girl driver actually had to deliver to him (a fact that drives me nuts -- I can't believe nobody warned her or stopped her or chvalrously took the delivery for her. What a bunch of pigs I work with) on her very first day of delivering. He answered the door, and quickly hid behind the door and said, "Lady driver. Let me go put some pants on." He disappeared behind the door, and instead of coming back fully clothed, he just sent his wife to the door -- his wife who also wasn't wearing any pants. So Underwear Guy married Underwear Girl, and they just lived happily ever after, I guess. There's gotta be an explanation for this. I was always under the impression that he couldn't wear pants for medical reasons. I don't know, I suppose I just told myself that to feel less uncomfortable about the whole thing. Underwear Girl brings a whole new dimension to the situation though. Is there a whole family of Underwear People? When family comes over, does anybody wear pants? How about a plumber -- will they put on pants for a plumber? I'm boggled by this.

5) Crazy Hair Lady -- At the beginning of the last night's shift I parked my car in front of this insane lady's salon, and as I walked to Papa John's I heard this insane rambling that sounded like, "Hey, good lookin', I'm gonna have your car towed." I turned and saw her toothy insane grin. She later would explain that she was bored, and that the last time she said that to a driver he actually got scared and told her to please don't tow my car, at which point she had to go to the back of the store to keep from cackling out loud at the guy's naivete'. She didn't actually use the word "naivete'." I'm translating here.

I hope to have more insane conversations with these people in the future so that I can relate them to you, my readers.

Oh, and Man Bob Bill (our beloved Area Manager, for those who haven't read my Papa John's posts before, which you really should) decided that we couldn't have a garbage can directly in front of our store. Now, the garbage can is circular, 2 feet in diameter, 3 1/2 feet high or so, and made of cement and stone. I wasn't there for this, but apparently Man Bob Bill had quite the hard time moving the garbage can by himself, so he enlisted the help of one of our shift managers. Together they tilted the stone monstrosity and rolled it about 30 feet and planted it directly in front of "Curves."

The big question I have is, why is Man Bob Bill so concerned with the garbage can? Nobody knows. We theorized that he's tired of our employees smoking in front of the building (a no-no that virtually everyone there does), but let me tell you, moving a garbage can hasn't put a dent in that activity. You'd need to cut off some hands to stop that. And now there's this big dark dirty circular spot in the sidewalk in front of the store -- way less attractive than a garbage can, if you ask me.

And is somebody really going to avoid ordering from Papa John's because of an overflowing garbage can in front of the store? A can that doesn't even belong to Papa John's, but belongs to the strip mall? A can that overflows about once a month, and not that badly?

I think we know who the truly insane guy is...

Finally, Papa John's has a new King Kong-themed pizza that has oversized pepperoni and italian sausage on it. It's totally absurd. It's just the Spicy Italian Pizza with bigger toppings. Comes in a new box that you can throw out, though.


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