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Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Quick Hits on Just About All the TV

EPTH GETS IT RIGHT AGAIN: What did I tell you about Hoops winning the grand prize on Flavor of Love? What did I tell you? I have to apologize, though, for not anticipating the spitting incident*, which is going to end up being a Top 5 moment on TV this year. That was quite a loogie! Some on the nerdy internet boards have even suggested that it was a CGI loogie, since it would be hard to spit so large and focused a ball of saliva. But maybe Pumkin's just an experienced spitter. Anyway, that totally overshadowed the snoozer of a final episode that I'm just going to say "I told you so" and leave it at that. Oh, and I like how as soon as Hoops won, Flav was like, "NOW are you going to sleep with me?" Not in so many words, but you could tell that's what Flav wanted. 'Twas quite a show.

NOT THAT I CARE, BUT: The Surreal Life 6 is comin' to your cable TV box, and it features Sherman Helmsley and Florence Henderson, two icons of everyone's childhood (or at least everyone who was born from like 65-75 or so). Along with them, you have a bunch of spares that will torture everyone's patience. You know, they should do a "Surreal Life All-Stars" with Mini-Me, Flavor Flav, Gary Coleman, Sally Jessy Raphael, Trishelle from the Real Drunk World, and two or three other psychos from the other seasons. I don't know. Sounds fun, doesn't it? I watch too much T.V.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Two weeks ago today, ABC actually showed a new episode of Lost. Not only that, but it was probably the best one of the season. It would take an entire post or two to explain why a) Lost is a great great TV show, and b) Lost is doomed, just like Alias was. I have become convinced of both a) and b) the past few months, and I'm still puzzled about the show's unwillingness to acknowledge Twin Peaks as an influence. Also, like I wrote before, I'm knee-deep into The Third Policeman right now, and it's not all that much fun. It's gotten a little better the last 20 pages or so, though.

And I have to go to the nerdy internet boards and share my theory about Kate being an "other," or at least in cahoots with them. Somebody's probably thought of it already, though. These are some hard-core nerds we're talking about here.

FOR THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW: On Beauty and the Geek, the smartest girl/geekiest guy won. It's bad enough that Cher was an obvious ringer (which we could see from the speeches in episode 2, where she didn't study yet managed to come up with a heartfelt and poignant story about her dead Aunt or somesuch), but did Josh have to be so painfully Woody Allen-like? Them winning was like Hatch winning the first Survivor, although I can't see either Cher or Josh getting busted for tax evasion anytime soon.

It was a cool show, though, made cooler by the fact that several of the contestants have blogs where they go "behind-the-scenes." If you want links, I'm sorry. None of you watch this show anyway, so stop bothering me. I'm just writing about it because I can.

*For the uninitiated, Pumkin got so mad at New York and her b_t__y antics that she spit right in her face, which caused New York to chase after her and basically tackle her into a TV camera. High Drama. Then, as New York ranted and raged and tried to "go after" Pumkin several times (but was talked out of it by Flav himself), Pumkin gave an on-camera interview where she suggested to herself that she should go get a gun and bring it back and shoot New York right in her pot-sleepy eye.


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