Epth News: Wednesday, April 20 -- and you know what that means...
...The anniversary of Columbine, Hitler, and weed.
The conclave only took two days to elect Cliff Clavin as Pope, and he promptly named himself after the popular squirt-on antibacterial substance "Bactine". This Pope is clearly not going to stand for any bacteria in the Catholic church, if you know what I mean. The American and European media, however, hope he overturns centuries of church doctrine to be more in accordance with their political views. In all seriousness, it's been hard to watch the non-Catholic media cover this story, because they just don't get it. Some of the coverage is nearly as bad as my "Bactine" comment.
Most of it centers around the idea that liberal Catholics are "disappointed" they picked such a "conservative" Cardinal. That's like the Bulls being "disappointed" when Michael Jordan retired and Pippen couldn't lead them to the NBA title -- it was never going to happen! Whoever becomes Pope isn't going to just overturn centuries-old church doctrine because a bunch of people who haven't thought things out very well tell him to. There will never be female priests -- they don't allow priests to marry yet, for pete's sake. Stop hoping for things that can't happen!
Do Triangle Catholics hate Particle Catholics?
Not only does nobody have any money, but now we have to pay more for stuff, too. the worst part about this? The Fed's going to raise interest rates even more to head off the inflation, which will take money out of our already cash-poor economy. Happy Hitler's birthday, everyone.
The Chinese are still protesting Japan's textbooks, which apparently "lighten up" the atrocities committed in Japan's 14-year occupation of China during WWII. Of course, if they were protesting a textbook "lightening up" the atrocities committed by the current Chinese regime after WWII, they would probably all be tank treads by now. What a beaten-down people.
Heard of "cybersquatting"? That's where you register an internet domain name that you think someone with money might want in the future (such as burgerking.com), and then extort huge sums of money from that someone when he/she tries to buy the domain from you. It's very illegal. With that in mind, I give you: www.benedictxvi.com.
The Register has the story.
Wouldn't being a manic depressive make the Enron exec who committed suicide more sympathetic? Because right now, he's just a money-grubbing-scum who couldn't face the music.
The conclave only took two days to elect Cliff Clavin as Pope, and he promptly named himself after the popular squirt-on antibacterial substance "Bactine". This Pope is clearly not going to stand for any bacteria in the Catholic church, if you know what I mean. The American and European media, however, hope he overturns centuries of church doctrine to be more in accordance with their political views. In all seriousness, it's been hard to watch the non-Catholic media cover this story, because they just don't get it. Some of the coverage is nearly as bad as my "Bactine" comment.
Most of it centers around the idea that liberal Catholics are "disappointed" they picked such a "conservative" Cardinal. That's like the Bulls being "disappointed" when Michael Jordan retired and Pippen couldn't lead them to the NBA title -- it was never going to happen! Whoever becomes Pope isn't going to just overturn centuries-old church doctrine because a bunch of people who haven't thought things out very well tell him to. There will never be female priests -- they don't allow priests to marry yet, for pete's sake. Stop hoping for things that can't happen!
Do Triangle Catholics hate Particle Catholics?
Not only does nobody have any money, but now we have to pay more for stuff, too. the worst part about this? The Fed's going to raise interest rates even more to head off the inflation, which will take money out of our already cash-poor economy. Happy Hitler's birthday, everyone.
The Chinese are still protesting Japan's textbooks, which apparently "lighten up" the atrocities committed in Japan's 14-year occupation of China during WWII. Of course, if they were protesting a textbook "lightening up" the atrocities committed by the current Chinese regime after WWII, they would probably all be tank treads by now. What a beaten-down people.
Heard of "cybersquatting"? That's where you register an internet domain name that you think someone with money might want in the future (such as burgerking.com), and then extort huge sums of money from that someone when he/she tries to buy the domain from you. It's very illegal. With that in mind, I give you: www.benedictxvi.com.
The Register has the story.
Wouldn't being a manic depressive make the Enron exec who committed suicide more sympathetic? Because right now, he's just a money-grubbing-scum who couldn't face the music.
posted by Mike Pape @ 6:19 AM
3 Comments:
At 8:06 AM,
pete said…
Mike,
I absolutley love your writing style. I get a little perterbed when you don't post or have a shorter post for the day. It is like I'm being robbed or something. I deserve better!!! Thanks for sharing yourself with me. I feel like I know you a lot better. Of course that might be a lie if all of your blogging is merely an act to get more readers. In the midst of all that you write I definitley laugh, but I also pray. I love you brother.
Pete
At 6:39 AM,
Mike Pape said…
I'm sorry for robbing you quite often...I assure you, my blogging is not an act...of course, me saying that could be an act, too.
I love you too. Thanks for marrying Jill's sister so we get to be family.
At 9:35 PM,
Anonymous said…
Triangle man, triangle man, doing everything a triangle can, what's he like? I don't know, triangle man! I haven't thought of that song in years - thanks for the laugh!
Trapezoid Lutheran Heidi Pop-E
(p.s. your blog is a lot of fun ((even the sports)) and can be thought-provoking)
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