From July 23, 2004

I recently rediscovered this post due to a friend of mine who wanted to link to it for the abstinence clearinghouse's blog. How you feel about it would probably be determined by whether or not you think the analogy is valid. If you think teen sex (I'm using this generic term to mean all sorts of sexual activity by teens -- even stuff that they naively don't think is sexual) is healthy and peachy and something everyone should experience, you probably think this was written by a moron. However, if you think that having sex too early is harmful to the development of a person, then you'll probably like it. I love it, but then again I wrote it.

I thought of it one day when I heard someone on the radio advance the tired opinion that kids are "going to have sex anyway." Of course they are, if you hand them a condom with a wink in lieu of parenting. Nice cop-out. Maybe people just feel guilty for having sex when they were too young -- I don't know. Anyway, try to enjoy this...

"Teenagers are just going to have sex anyway"

Teenagers are just going to eat what they want anyway (like you can stop them from going to Burger King when you're not watching), so why even present carrots and fruits and stuff as an alternative? Shouldn't they be making up their own minds? So what if the foods they eat contribute to a slow and stinky death? TV preaches those foods at them all the time, in a non-judgmental fashion. All your food-pyramids and "diet plans" are just unrealistic moralizing.

You parents should be researching drugs and devices to make these fatty, sugary death foods less unsafe for teens. That sounds like a job for the government, actually. I think our tax dollars should go to programs that allow our teens to eat the foods they want (because, as I explained, they're going to anyway, the little immoral scamps) and still be healthy. That way, they will figure out for themselves that actions have no consequences whatsoever.

The government should also pass out cigarettes in school, you know, so kids can decide if they like 'em.