My Dog is on the Juice

So my wife looks at the dog yesterday morning and sees a problem -- her little face is all puffy, like twice its normal size. It's funny, but also scary, so she takes the dog into the Vet. The Vet tells her the poor thing must have gotten bit by something in the yard and had an allergic reaction. They hooked her up to a doggie I.V. and prescribed her some antibiotics and some steroids. For those of you keeping count, this makes three dog prescriptions in two weeks, with two Vet visits totalling $230. Anyone want to buy a dog? With her puffy face, she looks extra cute these days. Plus, she can totally hit a fastball now. It's amazing.

Did you know you can get a whole bottle of dog steroids for only $13? Don't tell the Major League Baseball Player's Union, or we'll have a whole generation of ballplayers licking their privates and scratching themselves with their hind legs. Wait -- that could make baseball fun again! Go ahead and tell them.