This is Epth Nation

Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Some Info For the New Readers

First of all, hello to you and thanks for reading. After this weekend, my blog stats have gone through the roof. That means new readers, unless the same three people are traveling around the country, going to random computers, and clicking on this website just to fool me. Seeing as that's pretty unlikely (especially since Brian R. now has a job), I'm going to assume there are new readers to whom I want to be friendly and help make the most of their visit (that is, if they ever visit again). Here are some important features of this page you might be wondering about, starting from the top...

At the top is a blue Blogger bar with a search box in it. I'm not exactly sure what that search box does, but I will say that whenever I've used it I've been totally disappointed. It's just pure crap. Steer clear of it.

The "Next blog" button will take you to another blog, at random. Use at your own risk, and only -- and I do mean only -- if you're really bored.

Underneath the "This is Epth Nation" spiel you have the main content of the site on the left side, consisting of my posts for the last 7 days. The posts go from newest (at the top) to oldest (at the bottom, obviously). This can be a problem for those of us who like to read from the top down. Have you ever seen the movie Memento? It's like that. If you haven't seen it, don't worry about it, it's a little overrated.
At the bottom of each of my posts are two blue things you can click on. The first is a time marking, which you can use to link directly to that particular post. For example, the post immediately preceding this one (and hence, right below it) has a link to: This is functional if you want to say, tell all your friends about something I've written. You could e-mail them that link, which will never ever change.

The blue "comments" thing on the bottom right of each post is also important. Through that you can give me feedback. You have to be a member of "Blogger" to comment on the blog, though. They will provide a link to sign up if you want to. If you don't want to take the time or effort to do that, just e-mail me at and tell me what's what.
Clicking on that "comments" thing will also allow you to see the comments that have been made by others on that particular post, so you can see if somebody beat you to it.

Also, underneath a couple of the posts are ads, which are totally my fault. The less said about them the better, though I'm always amazed at the stuff they advertise here. They use the words of my posts to find "keywords", so they could be about anything. Right now they're for "reality tv" for some reason.

On the right side you have a bunch of stuff that's not very important. You start with the "contributors" on the top. Jill, my wife, is a contributor for editing purposes only. I say this out of love and appreciation, because as a contributor she could potentially screw up all my posts if she got mad at me. But she doesn't post outside of the comments sections. Underneath that is a google search bar that will get me a very small amount of money if you use it and click on anything on the other side (note: The results you get from that Google search will be led by advertising links, because that is a Google Adbox. Sorry). Contrary to what would be cool, that box does not let you search my site. More on this later.

(side note: Don't let them tell you that I couldn't hurt a fly because I just totally killed a fly just now. With a credit card ad that came in the mail, no less. Who said junk mail was useless?)

Underneath the Google box are direct links to all the posts from the last 7 days. Under that mess are the archives, which you can use to browse the site, week-by-week. There's over 300 posts in there, and some of them are big, so watch out. I like to think most of them are worthwhile (and as I explained not too long ago, I look back and enjoy them quite frequently), so check them out. That's also the best way to get a real feel for what we do here in Epth Nation.

Underneath the archives are links to the blogs of my friends and a couple others I think are interesting. They are not guaranteed to be interesting to you, though. Caveat Clicktor (let the clicker beware) or somesuch. At the very bottom of the page is a decorative blue bar that does absolutely nothing. Again, I'm sorry.

Here's a tip: If you want to search the site, go to and type this search: pants (where pants is whatever word you want to search for. If you want an exact phrase, put it in quotes, i.e., "Papa John's"). This method has been tested in a controlled environment and it works. BTW, I've used the word "pants" a total of 5 times over the course of this blog, always as a noun.

By the way, when you see "BTW" or "btw", it means "By the way." W/R/T means with regard to. N/A means non-applicable. And Cemetery is spelled with all "E"s.

And btw, this is a LOL and IMO and IMHO and ROFL-free zone. Those abbreviations have no place here, and had best be left at home.


  • At 8:55 AM, Blogger Brian said…

    Technically I don't start work until August 15th, so any wierd blog-accessing until then could still be me. I think this post makes two things clear:

    1.You should tell some stories where folks get their pants pulled down. That'll give you some verb forms of the word "pants."

    2.I totally forgot my second one, so instead I'll just apologize to any of your new readers that end up at my blog (the roy-cave.) Nothing ever happens there.

  • At 6:02 PM, Blogger jill said…

    most boring post


  • At 6:43 AM, Blogger Mike Pape said…

    You know Jill, local news has shown us that its impossible to be informative
    without being boring -- that's why local news no longer provides information at all.


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