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Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Monday, November 28, 2005

It's Hard to Know Where to Start -- Part 1: Mudstorm

Since I last posted, many things have happened to me. Let's go in reverse order, because reverse order is always more fun -- just ask David Lettermann.

Last night a West Texas windstorm swooped in on Dallas. If there's one weather phenomenon I cannot stand, it's a windstorm. Now, on the front end of it there were a bunch of tornados, but those missed us and hit Arkansas. I guess we should be thankful for that. However, this windstorm was quite annoying -- the weather equivalent of a little kid holding his finger an inch away from your eye and yelling "I'm not touching you!" And it wasn't the wind so much as the bizarre mudstorm it caused. Let me explain:

The stupid wind kicked up all the extra dust that is just sitting around here all the time because they built this city not on rock & roll but on the desert, apparently. As I drove last night, there was a haze around me -- a haze of dirt. It didn't get on my clothes or anything, but it was there. You could totally see it surrounding the streetlights. Along with the deadly dust came an intermittent drizzle, barely enough to notice by itself. But just like the time Sandman and Hydro-man combined to form an embarassing and muddy mess (which embarassment caused Sandman to renouce his life of crime)*, the drizzle combined with the dirt to coat everyone's cars with a thin layer of dirt. The water/dirt would hit the car, then the water would quickly be blown away by the wind, leaving a cute little dirt splotch behind. I wasted a bunch of windshield washer fluid over the course of the night trying to keep my view dirt-free, and the non-wiper portions of mine and everyone else's cars are now as filthy as a character on Lost.

Side note: good luck trying to find a weather report on the radio in Dallas on Sunday night. I guess if it's not a tornado or monkey-sized hail, we don't need to know about it.

*Ed. note: Amazing Spider-Man 217-218.


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