This is Epth Nation

Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

15 Minutes of TV This Morning

I was asked to do somebody else's job again this morning, watching "the cage" as a salesperson counted the laptops inside (because nobody can be trusted in there by themselves, with all that tempting shiny technology around). It took about 15 minutes, and thankfully there's a big screen TV back there with a righteous DSL package. I started out watching 80's videos, and got to view the mid-period (swiftly becoming mid-to-early-period) Madonna epic "La Isla Bonita." Not a bad tune, especially for the Skanky One. This got my mind working, and I came up with my:

Off the top of my head list of the 10 greatest Madonna songs:
10) Sorry
9)Die Another Day
8) La Isla Bonita
7) Beautiful Stranger
6) The Power of Good-Bye
5) Material Girl
4) Ray of Light
3) Causin' a Commotion
2) Vogue
1) Hung Up

Yeah, you aren't half as surprised by this list as I am. I'd do the 20 worst, but it would just be too painful.

After the 80's channel, I flipped over to G4, which is not a channel I get on my cable system at home, but I hear a lot about. If you're unfamiliar with it, let's just call it the Nerd Channel, because that pretty much covers it. Things of interest I saw in the 10 minutes I spent watching:

A hot girl saying, "I'm looking forward to ___ Con." (I forgot the name of the Con, but does it really matter? This is nerd dreamland here, not that there's one thing wrong with that. The girl is obviously smart and being paid by G4 to be that way. Rhetorical Question: Why don't more girls "nerd out?" Discuss.)

Former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, first-year American Idol contestant, second-year American Idol correspondent, and all-around talentless eye candy Kristen Holt is on G4, doing one-minute segments on Video Game cheat codes. This may be the ultimate job for her, being both high-energy and useless (anyone can get the cheat codes online if they want to). Sometimes things just work out how they should in life.

Proving my theory that in any 10 minutes of nerdy activity there is at least one reference to Bruce Campbell, I saw the man himself in the 10 minutes I was watching G4. He has gotten old. I guess it happens to everyone. He was at the Fangoria "Weekend of Horrors" (please don't ask, trying to lysol the concept from my brain) promoing his 2005 movie The Man with the Screaming Brain, which I'll have Netflix if possible. See? I'm a nerd. I guess you could probably see that without me telling you.

Finally, they showed a commercial for a late-night program they have called "Midnight Spank," which is running (among many other weird things) episodes of the very short-lived Fox show "Bansai." If you had G4, you could relive the greatness of Lady One Question. Oh that we all were that lucky.


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