This is Epth Nation

Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Things I Saw Tonight

I'm just thankful I didn't look over and see this driving that truck.
(picture found in a google search for "horse-face.")

-- A man in a bathrobe who stiffed me, but needed to make sure he got his credit card receipt back to "keep the book up to date." He will now have a record of his cheapness forever.

-- A freaky girl-faced woman. Seriously, I looked over at the truck on my right and I saw this woman with Jonbenet Ramsey's face and hair. I had to do a double-take, because if I found Jonbenet alive (and driving a truck in Texas!) I could definitely have 15 minutes of fame, and you know I crave that soooo much. But alas it was just a fat woman with a little-girl face driving a generic dude to some place nobody cares about. I kept staring at her because she was freaking. me. out. I've got enough stuff going through my head without being forced to think about the ramifications of this. Did her face naturally stay the same as it was when she was a child? Did her girth just make her less wrinkly? How old was she? Did she discover a fountain of youth? Is she like a timelord, getting younger as she goes through time? Is anyone nerdy enough to get that reference? Will she stay like that forever? Is she immortal? If so, why is she just driving around Dallas with some dude? Shouldn't she be famous?
...and then the light turned green, and she was gone.

-- Ok, so I didn't see this per se, but I realized that 90% of the people I work with at Papa John's annoy me so much that I will take great pains to not be around them. For example, if they're folding boxes, I go to the back of the store and do nothing. If they follow me back there (because their minds tend to wander a bit), I'll go up front and read the paper. This is not a good situation. What's wrong with me? It's a good thing I'll be getting out of there soon.

-- I'm tired of Papa John's being so slow. The overcharging experiment failed, Papa -- time to bring the common man back into our customer base. Yeah, nobody wants to pay $14 bucks for a large pizza with a $1.30 delivery charge. Go figure. Better ingredients? Arguable. Better Pizza? At these prices, the question is moot. Which brings up another point, a far more general one about the US economy: Why do the Powers That Be think that people have money? The fed keeps raising interest rates, Bush keeps crowing about economic growth, and inflation fears abound. Does nobody else notice 90% of the country is struggling with less income and more expenses? Who are these rich people, and why aren't they hiring me to fix their computers or write their copy points?

Anyway, Papa John's gambled and failed, and hurt every single one of their employees in the process. But hey, if the stockholders are happy (which they aren't), I guess at least somebody gets a merry fricking Christmas.


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