This is Epth Nation

Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

CW: 1+1=(3/4)

It was destiny, this merger of the two minor-league networks. The only question is, what took them so long? In combining, they could get rid of all their crappy shows and keep only the good ones, right? Right? Why is everybody laughing?

I don't know enough about the WB or UPN to know which shows were made redundant, but I do know the shows that made it. In Gilmore Girls, Smallville, and Veronica Mars they have the trinity of shows that people swear to me are good, but that I won't (or can't) watch. Especially that stinky Smallville. In 7th Heaven, they have a show I could have sworn was ending last year. I thought the national nightmare was over, but it looks like maybe not. Sometimes they come back.

Because the schedule is so crowded, there's only a couple of new shows here. That's probably good...let the network get on its feet before introducing an all-new schedule of shows that will be cancelled in two weeks.

Shows I can't believe are still on:

One Tree Hill -- It's a punchline at this point, right? It's boring, it's got a horrible title, it gets bad ratings, but every year it's back on the schedule. Who watches this show?

Everwood -- Oh, wait...this show was actually cancelled. I guess I can believe it's still not on. But why didn't they also cancel the other "forest" drama, One Tree Hill? I could never keep those two shows straight. Is Everwood the one with the earnest-looking bearded guy?

New Shows:

Runaway -- Donnie "The New Kid" Wahlberg stars as a man wrongly convicted of murder who runs away with his family to Iowa in what can only be described as a "self-made reverse Witness Protection Program." They need to keep their stories straight, but will their kids spill the beans? Will Donnie be able to find the real killer before John Law finds him? Sadly, nobody cares.

The Game -- Ok, somebody's playing a joke at the Yahoo!!! web site for this show. They list "Brittany Daniel" as playing "Kelly," but it's clearly somebody else. If Ms. Daniel was on the show, that would mean that 1/2 of two different sets of mildly famous TV twins would be on it. That's gotta be a joke. Anyway, Tia Mowry of the Disney yukfest Sister, Sister stars as the wife of an NFL football player. Uh-huh. So her husband's going to repeatedly cheat on her, and that's comedy gold, apparently. Wait a second -- the CW website has Ms. Daniel listed, too. What gives? Is this show a joke or not? Sadly, nobody cares.


  • At 7:25 AM, Blogger mom said…

    Keep us educated, Mike. There is NOTHING I care to time...or any other time. Even the "educational" channels present 99% garbage. News programs went into the "circular file" ages ago. Totally fed up with all the "talking heads" who think they and their "analyses" are SO important. The only thing left are the sports programs.....and now THEY are becoming corrupted....with, of all things, POKER, etc.

  • At 8:08 PM, Blogger Mike Pape said…

    Yeah, we don't understand poker on TV, either.

    Thanks for reading, mom.


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