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Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Do You Feel Scared? I do.

I wasn't able (thankfully) to watch it, but the Packers lost to the woeful Detroit Lowenbraus 17-3 yesterday. The game was notable for many bad, bad reasons:
  1. Erstwhile QB Brett Favre was sacked 4 times -- I can't remember the last time that happened.
  2. He also didn't throw a TD pass, which has only happened once in like the past 10 years.
  3. The Packers scored just 3 points, which is their lowest point total since a 31-3 loss in Tampa in 1992, which interstingly enough was the game before the Brett Favre Era began. The Pack hasn't scored less than 6 points in a game in 13 years.
  4. It's the fricking Lions, for pete's sake. In gay uniforms.
  5. The 14 penalties they had were the most for a Packer team in 18 years. That team was coached by Forrest Gregg. It was a Bears game. Gregg hated the Bears, and instructed his players to cheap-shot them.
  6. Their top Wide Receiver, Javon Walker, injured his knee and will be out the rest of the season. He's probably wishing he would have held out.
I bet the Packers are glad they gave coach Mike Sherman a contract extension, eh? The only silver lining on this stinking death cloud is that it's just the first week, and crazy things tend to happen in the first week. Let's not go all crazy and plan what we're going to do with the first pick in the draft now.

Btw, the Viqueens and Bearssss also lost, so the week wasn't a total loss. That traitor Darren Sharper had an interception return for a touchdown, though, so maybe it was. Traitor.

Never, never trust a Minnesota Viking. I pick Daunte "The Butcher" Culpepper, and he forgets how to play football. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy they lost, but I need Daunte to stay away from the fumbling and the interception throwing. I mean, he scored 4 fantasy points -- a feat I didn't know was possible until this week. Sheesh. Kyle Orton scored more. Brett Favre had his worst week ever, and even he scored more. Trent fricking Dilfer scored more. I could go on and on about this. He better get this fixed, or I'm dead. He's my featured player. He's a stud. He's a fat, fat man.

Steve Smith was my best player by far. He was also the only one of my fantasy dudes who scored a touchdown. How pathetic is that? Still, I am at 1-1 after this week, because I played the guy who had Brett Favre. I could have started myself at QB and beaten him. In a 12-man league, all but 3 people scored more than me. It's truly is better to be lucky than good in Fantasy Deathball.


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