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Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Sick News for 09.07.05

It's 9/7/05, and the news is hoppin'.

You know, when it's been 102 degrees and humid for a month, 95 and dry seems just like heaven -- and not the one with Robert Smith and his clown makeup, either. Or the bad movie with what's-her-face that's coming out soon. Really, it does.

Obviously, Katrina and her aftermath is dominating the news these days, for good reason. Every day, there are compelling stories and things to be commented on coming out of there: Sean Penn doing his best to make a good deed seem toolish, Kanye West's candor, Bush's decisions, FEMA's bureaucracy, pumping of contaminated water out of the city, all the displaced people, the massive relief effort, the impact it has on the economy, etc. There really are 100 blog posts to write, and I refuse to turn this into KatrinaBlog. I will share a story from my own life, though: Man Bob Bill, famed Area Manager of Papa John's in North Dallas and in many ways my nemesis, is driving down to Mississippi with a bunch of Papa Bigwigs in the "Papa-Truck." They're going to feed people down there, which is great and nice and makes me rethink my whole position regarding the personal value of one Man Bob Bill. Of course, the happy side effect of this is I don't have to deal with him for a month. Man, I need a new job.
Oh, and it's great that Papa is helping in the relief effort. Man, if I'm a displaced American, or a relief worker, a Papa John's pizza would sound mighty good to me.

New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin is allowing the "forced evacuation" of the estimated 10,000 citizens still hunkered down in New Orleans. Count that as another sentence I never thought I'd ever be writing. These are truly crazy times. Here's another one: I saw gas for $2.90 today, and that makes me happy.

Did you guys know there's a war going on in Iraq? I wonder how the soldiers out there feel, hearing news of the chaos in the Gulf. Helpless, like we do? Probably. Last week, when the world was going to heck, 900+ Iraqis were killed when a procession became a stampede. Apparently, rumors circulated that there was a suicide bomber in their midst. This is another thing that is beyond sad.

While all this Katrina stuff is going on, California thought it would be a good time to sneak a Gay Marriage Approval Bill through. Well, that settles it. All the cool people are now getting Gay Married, so we're forced as a country to accept it. When you sign your marriage papers, you will now have a box to check to make the wedding "gay." This is the ultimate in personal marriage choice. Now, even straight people can have the rights of the gay married, namely: normal marriage plus unconditional acceptance and pity from the "hipsters" of society.

Admit it: You were afraid of where I was going with that. It's a good thing we are free to talk openly and candidly about homosexuality in this country. Yeah, right. Btw, Ahh-nold still could veto the bill, so don't buy that pink tuxedo just yet.

Here's a question: If you've been retired for 2 days, can coming out of retirement really be considered a comeback? Lance Armstrong is reportedly thinking about coming back just to stick it to the French, which I almost always support. Those snooty tartlets deserve to have Lance come back and win their pretentious race again. Plus, he probably needs a break from that Sheryl Crow, now that they're getting married.

NFL Shocker: The normally capitulary and totally girl-like NFL is refusing to pull Kanye West from it's opening night "Craptacular." In fact, there's a groundswell of support churning for Kanye on this one. It's probably due to the fact that sentiments were clearly heart-felt and expressed a deep frustration shared by many in the black community. This whole hurricane thing is going to re-open many debates regarding the welfare state, helping the poor in urban areas, and so on. And while I think it's crazy to say, "George Bush doesn't care about black people," I think there's a portion of his paying constituency that would rather "urban" people be locked up out of sight where they can't bother "society." They are society, people.


  • At 3:42 PM, Blogger the professional said…

    mike, you forgot about the compelling katrina story concerning all the displaced animals and pets. granted, there are buttloads of people to worry about too (first?), but the presence of starving, homeless, and dead animals all over the gulf coast is certainly both something to worry about and something that's breaking hearts. at least two hearts here in denver. poor gerbils.

    and, i'm confused: what do gay marriage and "hipsters" have to do with each other? and when did it become cool in the media (both mainstream and alternative) to use "hipster" as a total bash? am i a "hipster" because i support gay marriage? or am i already a "hipster" because i'm young, i'm liberal, i live in an urban area, i have piercings and tattoos, i drink and occasionally do drugs?

    in unrelated news, maggie and i were in estes park colorado yesterday and i found a totally sweet state of IOWA belt buckle. but i suppose that makes me a "hipster."

    hipsters are gay.

  • At 12:42 PM, Blogger Mike Pape said…

    First, about the pets. As a speciesist, I belive we should care about humans more than animals. Personally, however, I would rather not think about all the poor animals. It drives me crazy to see animals suffering, because they are so helpless. It does break my heart. When the news does a story on displaced animals, I can't take it so I turn it off. That, and I don't want Allie to see it.

    Andrew, a "hipster" is what we used to call a "poser." It people who let their desire to be cool determine what kind of person they are going to be, especially what they wear and what political views they have. You could never be a "hipster" because you're not shallow. Unless you do all those things just to be cool and fit in with your "hipster" friends. Plus, you're not really old enough to be one. Right now, you're just a radical, fresh out of college.

    I think it's awesome that you were in Estes Park. I love that place.

    Btw, this is why I don't mention gay marriage. It's a lose-lose proposition. Never again.


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