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Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Finally, Another News Day

Because I am in a state of Not Necessarily Too Tired To Write This, I will now do some news. I haven't done it in a couple of weeks, and I apologize for that. The people keeping me from it have all had a good talking to, so this should not be a recurring problem.

Quite Possibly My Last Note of the Year About Baseball: The American League has a super-fun playoff race going, with 4 teams fighting for 3 spots: Two Division Championships and the Wild Card. The White Sox, at 94-63, are 2 games better than Cleveland, Boston, and the Hated Yankees. If Chicago Holds on that means that Cleveland would have to get a Wild Card spot by having a better record than either the Yankees or Boston. There's a chance that the Hated won't make the playoffs after all! Remember my vow: Until the Brewers make the playoffs or the Yankees don't, I'm out on baseball, because they don't want me as a fan. This means I could be back into baseball as early as next week! I'm definitely not counting on it, though. The Hated always have more tricks up their sleeve, because money buys tricks. At least I have something to root for now, though.

John "The Republican Ninja" Roberts is probably going to be confirmed soon as our next "Chief Justice of the Supreme Court," whatever that is. I wonder if Souter, Scalia, and the rest are ticked off that this nondescript white guy gets to be Chief. Anyway, Roberts may feel like giving the title back when Anna Nicole Smith stumbles into the courtroom loudly proclaiming that her dead husband meant to write her into his will, but just never got around to it. Fascinating.

Looks like those stories of widespread crime and violence at the Superdome during FEMA's folly after Katrina were almost all fabricated. Officials can find no evidence of mass murder, and there have been no actual rapes reported. So how did it become an absolute fact that these horrible things were happening? Maybe the question we should be asking is whose interests did these stories serve? 1) The Local and State officials, who were yelling at FEMA publicly to send help because they were wholly unprepared for the post-Katrina flood. 2) The breathless news media, for obvious sexy-story reasons. 3) The Anti-poor, who saw it as an opportunity to look on the people in the Superdome as Dirty Criminals rather than People in Need of Help.

It just goes to show: Never, ever trust those pretty people who are telling you the news. They are wrong an alarming (and possibly intentional) percentage of the time. Everyone's selling you something, and those pretty people are no exception. Have you ever wondered to yourself, "Why are they all so pretty?" The answer is ratings. Nobody wants to look at an Ug for 30 minutes.

Hot Opinion: If Private Lyddie "The Leash" England has the last name "France," she's going away for 20 to life. If her last name is "Nazi Germany," she gets the death penalty. Instead, jolly old England gets three short years in a prison, but it's probably one of those white collar resorts -- she should be so lucky. Not exactly justice -- poetic, puppet-show, or otherwise.

Another Scientific Theory has been trashed, this time the "Big Bang." Of course, it won't be reported like that, but that's what happened. Scientists have discovered an "oddly mature" galaxy that the Big Bang Theory doesn't predict is possible. Therefore, the theory must be wrong in some way, right? My favorite paragraph is the last one:
Some older theories of galaxy formation made room for large, monolithic galaxies to form. This discovery suggests that in some cases at least, this could well be what happened.

Back to the drawing board. Not that I understand any of it. Crazy.


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