Save the Drama for your Llama

As I said, I just took a 4-day weekend in beautiful downtown St. Louis with my family. I couldn't use the internet without paying $9.95 a day, so I guess you just found out the full extent of my cheapness (or maybe my poorness). The whole family was there and it was great despite the blazing hot weather. Some highlights:

1. Had my first Budweiser ever (that I can remember anyway) at the free hotel happy hour. It tasted like sand. Must be the beechwood aging.
2. Budweiser Select, however, finishes clean. We took the Anheuser-Busch tour, and got the free samples at the end. It's funny that they make you go through the hour-long tour to get to the free beer. I actually chose whatever the Bud stout/Guinness knock-off is, and it was like a cheap version of Guiness. Go figure.
   
3. As you can see, I drank way too much beer. That's what you do in St. Louis.
4. Other cities need more giant, cool-looking, symbolic, and totally wasteful structures like the Arch. Dallas, for example, could build a giant metal star that lights up, or Plano could build a giant lady with big hair and too much makeup. It would create tourism, but I guess nobody cares about that when there's money to be embezzled or spent on dangerous public transportation.
5. The Cardinals' baseball stadium is beyond cool. It's downtown and sunken into the ground, so that when you walk by you can see right in. Why don't other cities do that?
   
6. Embassy Suites Downtown has a great Continental breakfast with a huge room to eat it in; However, the walls are thin, the fixtures are easily-breakable, and the internet is the opposite of free. Also, it's virtually impossible to get there without some maze-breaking and horse-dodging skills.
7. My "I (heart) Cheese" T-Shirt never fails to get comments.
   
8. St. Louis is a pretty dirty and run-down city, but there area some really cool-looking newly-renovated areas. The streets are confusing and too narrow, but downtown is laid out very well and features a bunch of cool-looking stuff. All in all, it's a nice place to visit, and you know the rest.
   
9. Underneath the arch is a museum that gives a history of "Western Expansion" from the Native Americans' point of view. I guess we should get off their land and move back to Europe. I've got dibs on Wittenberg. Oh, and we're keeping our atomic bombs, so enjoy becoming Mexicanada.
10. Got to hear a lot of bad talk-radio during the drives there and back. I turns out that on Memorial Day we're supposed to be constantly thinking about the sacrifices it took to win and keep our freedom. We should do this specifically by listening to xenophobic country songs and grandstanding about immigration reform. Beats thinkin'.
    
11. Did you know that global warming might make poison ivy slightly more itchy? Yeah, it was slow news day. I was excited on Friday when somebody shot up a Senate building, but it turned out to be a misfiring jackhammer. Still, they breathlessly covered it for at least a half-hour. News is so very bad, even on the radio.
12. This just in: Remember when Bravo showed good artsy movies and TV Shows you couldn't find anywhere else? When did they turn into VH1 of five years ago? Top 100? Queer Eye? Kathy Griffin? What's next -- Pop-Up Movie Scenes?