This is Epth Nation

Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

All Your Bass Are Belong to Us.

So, a lot of stuff happened since my last real post. Being too busy to share my thoughts with the world was driving me absolutely bonkers. This is like therapy for me, or at least TheraFlu for me.

Turns out Lance Bass is gay, first of all (not that it's any of your business). This is like Jim J. Bullock coming out. Who's next -- that skinny former MTV VJ named Jessie who looked like he was high and on stilts all the time? Any of the Backstreet Boys? Dean Cain?

I predict something similar from the Backstreet Boys, LFO, 98 Degrees, O-Town, and Hootie and the Blowfish over the next couple of weeks. Gotta keep up with the NSYNCses, after all. This is how music works, and its why Christina Aguilera wants to get married and have babies all of a sudden.

Alright, having gotten that Bass thing out of the way, I'm going to take you on a journey that leads to a good place, but you have to follow me, ok? We start with the fact that last week we moved from sunny Richardson to sunny and brighter Valley Ranch. Our new apartment is AWESOME, and yes, that did need to be in all caps to express the sentiment properly. As I explained in this post, we are close to all sorts of cool stuff. (side note: Peeps, now would be a good time to visit. All y'all, come on down and live in luxury with us. We've got a proper guest room and everything, kinda. Anyway, the place is bigger. Come on!) The move was a lot of work, especially for my wife. I was working two jobs and moving at the same time -- as well as dealing with insurance stuff, leaving my car at the shop and getting my sweet rental SUV -- and on top of that my two jobs were being especially ornery and taking up a lot of time. It was terrible. Bleah.

But we're finally here after moving all our big stuff yesterday, and with a new apartment comes new responsibility and a new ISP, Comcast. Today I hooked my brand new cable internet connection up, and I couldn't figure out why it was going so slow. After 3 hours of dinosaur hell, I discovered the free ethernet cable COMCAST SUPPLIED ME WITH was slowing the works down. After fixing that problem, Comcast high-speed cable Death Internet is indeed faster than DSL. Those talking lizards were right. If only they didn't sabotage you with their speed-killing cables of death. Pity the non-computer-savvy user who uses one of them -- they might never know what the internet is supposed to look like.

We also have a new cable provider, which is also Comcast. We have a few new channels, one of which is my new favorite channel...G4. I love tech nerd TV that tries to be cool. It's so much like me. Anyway, just when I had decided that G4 was my new favorite channel, I see this news:

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT IS COMING TO G4 IN SYNDICATION! Why does G4 want AD? Nobody knows. Do we care? No. Do I like asking questions to myself that I already know the answer to? Yes.

If you read the article, you'll see that the 53 AD episodes are also being webcast on the Evil Empire's MSN. But try not to think about that. Yes, I'll probably have all the DVD's by then (did S3 ever come out, I wonder?), but it'll still be good to turn on G4 and see Tobias Funke bopping around. Here's a quote from an MSN evil operative that makes my TV mouth water:
"The beauty of distributing an entire series online--especially a series like Arrested, where the audience is so passionate--is that we can build an immersive world around the show," Rob Bennett, MSN's general manager of entertainment and video services, told the Hollywood Reporter.

I'd like to see that immersive world, Rob. Where can I sign up to be part of your evil Microsoft stormtrooper army?

See? I told you the journey would end in a happy place.

Now check out this band, right now. They're Midlake, and they're from the Dallas area. Not quite the best ever death metal band out of Denton, but they're something else entirely.


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