This is Epth Nation

Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Bathroom Story

I was in the public bathroom at my place of employment yesterday, as always seated on the toilet in a stall (I'm not a "stander.") Since it is a public bathroom, the public has an unfortunate tendency to come in and use it. As I was sitting there, this guy comes in and gets in the stall next to me. He sits down, and underneath the stall wall I spy: a big cane, which the man has put to rest against the stall door; and, the man's foot. It is without a doubt the most humongous foot I have ever seen. I sort of inch my foot over towards it to compare, and it's like twice the size of my foot. So I decide I'm using the bathroom next to a giant, and I feel a little irrational fear, like the man's going to kick the wall down and attack me with a club as I'm going through my post-lunch toilet work. I realize this is completely irrational, and that the man is probably more of a gentle giant a la Shaq or Andre the Giant. I hurry myself up anyway, and go to the other side of his stall, where the sink is. As the disease and self-scum is falling from my hands down the drain, I look down at the man's other foot. It's at least 10 sizes smaller than the first one. In fact, it looks slightly bigger than my foot. I leave the bathroom, shaking my head in wonder at what I've seen.

The moral of the story: You cannot judge something correctly if you can't see all of it. What you think is a giant may just be a man with a giant foot. Remember that.


  • At 4:25 PM, Blogger Brian said…

    Awesome. Maybe he was just coming off of a case of Gigantism brought on by too much Brain & Nerve Tonic.


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