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Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Beauty and the Geek 2: First Impressions

Last night was my night to watch reality TV. Boy, I watched a bunch of it. First came Survivor, the show Destiny's Child wants to be. I've got just one question about Survivor: Do the producers of the show purposefully go out and find the most insane people they can, or do they go insane after they get out there? This question is nearly as old as Survivor itself, since people were asking it after Rudy told Rich Hatch he would find him and kill him if betrayed, and again after Sue Hawk told that other girl she wouldn't offer her any aid if she were dying in the road. Like how I call them "Rich" and "Sue" instead of "Richard" and Susan"? They're like my friends. And now Rich is in jail. For not paying taxes on his Survivor earnings. Yes, that same question keeps coming up again and again like "Sorry please try again" in any 20 ounce bottle-related prize givaway.

Which brings us to Shane, or "Sugah Shane," as I call him in my head (curse you Shane Mosley). Shane's the guy who looks like Iggy Pop and acts like a petulant child. Actually, he acts like a a guy who was like the bassist in some rock band that never quite made it but he took a lot of drugs and fathered a child with some girl and woke up at age 33 with the idea that he should start taking responsibility for himself and his kid but hard living had killed a few too many brain cells so every day is a loud and epic struggle to make it to the next. That's what I see, anyway. At this point, my question (the one in bold up there) must be asked. Did the producers know he was like this and think he would make good TV, or did he just forget his medication? The guy wanted to quit last week, and this week he claims for himself a tree stump (it may have only been in jest, but he still loudly and anti-socially forbade anyone to sit on it. If so, the guy shouldn't jest.) If I was out there, I would make or break any alliance and throw a challenge just to vote him off.

Last night, there were several other "what the heck" moments I'd like to point out. First and foremost, why are Austin and that other dude voting with the other two dudes when they could have voted the over-named and competitively worthless Ruth Marie off? Why aren't Austin and that other dude in an alliance with the two younger girls, who when push comes to shove would be easier to beat in challenges? Plus, who wants to look at old dudes all season? Dude! This is Survivor 101 -- ally with people weaker and dumber than you...that's worked more often than not. Never -- ever -- join up with those stronger than you, unless you plan on betraying them in some climactic shift near the end of the game. Maybe that's Austin's plan, but I doubt it.

And coed bikini dirt bag wrestling? That's low, even for Survivor. I wonder, did any of the white girls bring a shirt? Or the guys, for that matter? That Danielle's boobs are scary!

The "Exile Island" bit has been a disappointment so far, Bruce's insane karate workout notwithstanding. It clearly needs a bigger skull. I sure hope somebody out there finds that immunity idol and busts it out at tribal council soon. That's the only payoff that would be worth it for me. I like that they're trying new things, though.

Beauty and the Geek 2 is pretty ok. Wes is clearly a ringer (and now he's gone...), and everyone seems to be especially awkward this year. Through my nerdy investigations and message boards I just found out that Cher works (worked?) at Bone Daddy's, which is located in the same parking lot as where I work! On her Xanga page (not linked to here because I'm lazy), Cher talks about being tired of 40-year-old guys hitting on her when she just wants to smile and give good customer service. Well, she should have told me that instead of smiling so much! Just kidding, I've never been to Bone Daddy's. Seems a little too "breasty" of a breastaurant, if you get my drift. Yes, I'm talking about chicken. Sheesh.



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