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Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Friday Sports Notes

A) This is not a sports point, but my TV watching is going along as planned. I saw Grizzly Man last night (and it was nearly as fun and insane as I expected), LOST last night, Survivor last night, MST3K yesterday, and even fit in going over to a friend's house and seeing their newborn baby. I'm very productive. Hire me.

B) Speaking of LOST, there are people on the nerdy message board who loved that episode on Wednesday. "The show is back," they say. Why do they say this? Because they're a bunch of women who want to sleep with/fail to reform evil Sawyer. I hate America. The episode was ok, but that whole Alias-style "make you think one person is evil when its actually a different person" is a little overdone. And if this were real life, somebody would be tracking Sawyer's every move at all times, because he's evil. But hey, the ladies love him. I'm clearly "just jealous," so dismiss me.

C) Speaking of Survivor, the early season seems dominated by that bipolar Iggy Pop guy who misses his son. Do you realize (those of you that watched it last night) that he very nearly started an alliance and then left his alliance-mates out to dry -- in the space of just one episode? Good thing Danielle picked him first, right? NEVER PICK A GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE IGGY POP.

D) Finally, some sports. I'm so glad that 4 fricking Detroit Pistons made the all-star team, since they're clearly the best team, and that's all that matters. This is the team all-star game, right? Best team gets all their players in? What? This is for individual players? Then what the flying heck are Rip Hamilton (21ppg, 1 dimension per game), and Rasheed Wallace (16ppg, 6 rebounds per game. That's right, fricking 6 boards) doing on the all-star list? When Gilbert Arenas (28ppg. That's 2-8.) and Michael Redd (25ppg. That's 2-5) and even Dwight Howard (same points as Rasheed with twice as many boards) exist? Plus, Paul Pierce might be the only thing on Boston worth watching, but him over Arenas and Redd? I thought we were supposed to take team records into account. In fact, I was under the impression that we worshipped team records -- that's why there are 4 Pistons in the game, right? Boston (18-31) gets their best player in, but Milwaukee (25-23) and Washington (24-23) don't? Somebody explain that to me, because what it looks like is the NBA just wants to see older established players in the All-Star game instead of newer better ones. Paul Pierce? Come on.

All I know is this: If I scored 25-28 ppg on a .500-plus team, and I didn't get voted into the all-star game, I'd make damn sure everyone in the NBA knew I was upset. Then I'd rip out 30 a game for the rest of the season, and whenever reporters asked me a question about the game, I'd just say "Paul Pierce who?" and turn around. But that would make me a prima-donna, so there you go. At least being a jerk like that would get me the ladies. Right, American ladies?

E) I don't have the energy to talk about the hockey gambling scandal right now, since it's hockey and all. I will, however, give you a preview of the Netflix diary of Grizzly Man:

"They can decapitate."


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