This is Epth Nation

Epth is a state of mind, not a place. Reading this will give you a virtual drivers license in that state, but you'll still need to be 21 to purchase alcohol. And you can't get any there anyway, so stop asking.

Friday, April 14, 2006

New Story: Tom Tom Club

New story posted on Really Short Stories.

I really like it, but I'm an odd egg.

My wife told me yesterday she was made at me for starting these other two blogs. "Now I have to check three blogs?" She asked. Well, this is my solution. Since we here at Epth Nation disavow any ties, real or implied, to, we're not goint to link to posts there. However, everytime I post a "really short story," you'll hear about it on this blog first.


It's a Good Friday

Today is the day we commemorate Jesus' saving death. It is a day to be reflective and thoughtful and thankful this has happened, because we are saved from our own crapulence today.

I just wanted you to hear that.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Kate's an Other?

(This post deals with the ABC show LOST. Above: Kate is pretty, but remember "The Mole"?)

At the beginning of the reality show boom, like a year after Survivor introduced America to the wonder of Game Shows Where Losers are Voted Off, there was a show on ABC called The Mole. It was hosted by the phony earnestness that is Anderson Cooper, and it went like this: Every week, the contestants were involved in some sort of group activity where if they completed a certain assignment, they would add to the eventual winner's money total. As an added bonus, there was one contestant who really wasn't a contestant at all -- he/she was "The Mole," and was secretly working to stop the real players from completing their assignments, and therefore keeping them from the money. At the end of every show, the contestants would fill out a questionaire asking them questions about "The Mole" (where they were born, were they male or female, etc.). The person who got the worst score on the test was voted off. They whittled down the numbers until there were only three people left -- the final two contestants and the accursed "Mole." It was some hot reality action, let me tell you.

On the very first season of the American version of this show, the final three were two brash young guys and a cute little brunette woman with curly hair and a winning smile. America was shocked to find that this girl, seemingly next in the line of America's Reality Sweethearts after Coleen from Survivor I and Elizabeth from Survivor II, had been plotting against the other contestants from day one. They showed her purposefully blow missions without anyone knowing. They showed her nodding her head in agreement when people told her that they trusted her. They showed her having a breakdown because she just couldn't take the lying anymore. She was The Mole. Her name?


Keep that in mind as you watch that dangerous island minx stick her nose in everybody's business on LOST. Had I not seen that first season of The Mole, I'm not sure I would have ever caught on. She's a wily one, this Kate. Here is the compiled evidence for her being another one of LOST's "moles":

1) She is the only survivor who claims to remember the plane crash itself. She said she was awake for the whole thing. It's been fairly well established that this wasn't a plane crash, or at least wasn't your typical one. How come she's the only one who remembers it? Is she lying, and if so, why?

2) Her desire to be involved with every single thing that every single one of the LOSTies do is well-documented and lamented by LOST nerds. "Why does she have to be involved in everything?" they ask. Because she needs to stop them if they go near the wrong place, silly. Case in point: Jack, Swayer, and Locke form a search party to find Michael, and Jack forbids Kate to go. Well, who should show up with an Other's gun to her pretty elfin head? That's right, Kate. She just couldn't stay home. How convenient that the Others were able to use her as a bargaining chip, eh?

3) Claire decides to go to the "Other" place where she was being held in Season I, and who forces her way into that trip? That's right, Kate. When they get to the (recently and hastily abandoned...hmm) medical center, Claire and Danielle try to find their daughters, and Kate does some inspecting. She finds the fake beards and beard glue that the Sea Captain uses! Arr! That scum put a gun to her head! She calmly puts them away, and doesn't tell anyone about her discovery until a few episodes later (last night) when she uses the information as a way to complain about not being in the Jack-Locke "inner circle" anymore. Why does she need to be in the "inner circle" anyway?

4) What does the Marshall say about her early in Season One? Oh, yeah --
"No matter what she does, no matter how she makes you feel, don't trust a word she says."
Also, what does Kate say when The Marshall tells her she would have gotten away if not for her stopping to remove the farmer's artificial arm (long story)? Oh, yeah --
"In case you haven't noticed, I did get away." Perhaps she was talking about her secret deal to take part in an island experiment...

Just about everything Kate does can be explained if she's working with The Others. Keep an eye on this in the coming weeks (well, when Lost comes back from re-run hell, that is). We thought Kate was an Enigma -- as it turns out, she may just be a Mole.

There are problems with this theory, I admit, the main one being Kate telling Jack about the fake beards last night. That, even with her complaining, doesn't seem like an "Other" move. She hasn't told anyone else, that we know of. Part of the problem is LOST's infuriating delay in following up on important plot points in order to extend the story. Another problem is we never know what the characters have told each other, and they all seem to be keeping secrets these days. This is another way in which LOST is exactly like Twin Peaks. Let's hope these writers know what they're doing, and can at least end this season with a bang.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

More Reasons for Not Posting

Just posted a really short story at "Really Short Stories." It's about nuns. You're welcome.

A Reason for Not Posting

I don't like to use the term "hiatus," because that usually means, "stay away." I will be posting here, but it's going to be hard this next couple of weeks.

In other news, I found a new blog you need to check out every day. It's here. This guy's just saying what we're all thinking!

Monday, April 10, 2006

I'll Take the Decaf

Learning to live without caffiene for 40 days is an interesting thing. For example, I don't even like regular coffee, and view decaffienated coffee as pretty much the most pointless drink known to man (all of the bad taste with none of the benefits -- kinda like non-alcoholic beer), yet I find myself drinking a cup of it every morning. A wouldn't be doing it were it not free, but still, I find it strange that I do that.

Also, "Aruba Jam" Sprite is about the only non-caffienated soda I can tolerate drinking every day, and even then, it's iffy.

I'd also like to say, "You're welcome" to the 500,000 hispanics who marched peacefully through the streets of Dallas yesterday. They took most of my advice, and it was a great PR victory for Mexican-Americans everywhere, even the illegal ones. Of course, I won't get credit for this. What? Oh, other people pointed these things out, too? Well, we were all right.

Great to see those American flags out there, especially. Now, if we can get them to not root against our soccer team when we play Mexico, we might be able to start the immigration healing process.